My Grown-Up Tantrum...

“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” -Eckhart Tolle

The other day, I experienced what you might call a grown-up tantrum. I certainly don't feel proud writing about it, but this is exactly what I signed up for when I enrolled myself on the Conscious Living Solutions blog : honesty, transparency, authenticity. Also, this is how we learn and grow, through the contrast of our good and bad feelings and experiences. When we go through something that makes us feel terrible, we can make a conscious choice to clearly identify what we would prefer next time. This empowers us to understand and manifest what we DO desire.

My tantrum was essentially born out of fear. Rob was about to go on a long road trip with little Théo after it had snowed 20 cm the previous night. It was 5:30 am and they were getting ready to leave. I felt nauseous at the thought of them driving on icy roads. I checked the road reports, and it wasn't looking great. I was overwhelmed with anxiety, pleading with Rob to change his plans, but to no avail. In my desperation, I even muttered something ridiculous like "there will be consequences if you go ahead with this." I felt powerless, sad, angry and gripped by fear while I watched them drive away. To make matters worse, my monkey mind then said "hey, guess what, Lise, you are focusing on them being unsafe on the road, and you are fuelling that with heavy emotions...you might actually be manifesting an accident!" To which I replied "Shut up, stupid voice in my head".

Sometimes trying to grow in awareness is just not a sexy process. I sat myself down, started to breathe, and decided to focus on their safe journey, since there really was nothing else that I could do at this point. I surrendered to what I was feeling and just sat with it, observing how that felt in my body. Then I started to wonder "how do I know if these intense negative feelings were an intuition (gut feeling), or just the by-product of my negative thoughts? If I were about to board a plane and suddenly started to feel nauseous and fearful, shouldn't I be paying close attention to these signals? Maybe my intuition is warning me about impending doom. Or... are my paranoid, negative thoughts actually increasing the chances of this unwanted experience to unfold?"

What do you think? How do we tell the difference between sensing that something is about to happen and creating that experience with our thoughts? Where does intuition fit into the law of attraction? Hummm....

Well, stay tuned for the conclusion of this story in my next blog post.

Thanks for being here! Feel free to express your ideas / comments!

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com