Where To Get The Best Connection...

If everything went according to plan, I should be on the plane right now on my way back to Edmonton (from Cuba). Thank you once again, automatic scheduling tool for posting this while I have no internet access! Tomorrow morning, I will be flying straight to Vancouver, where Rob and the kids will be picking me up! I CAN'T WAIT to see them!!! We will drive out to Victoria for a couple of days (hi Lin, did we arrive yet?) and then we'll head off to beautiful Tofino.

Rob and I were in Tofino last February (without the kids) and we walked through the breathtaking, majestic forest filled with enormous old trees. I'm sure the kids will be speechless once they enter that enchanted field of serenity. Just look at this picture below, it looks like I'm in the womb of that ginormous tree!:)

I look forward to running around on the spacious beaches famous for their many tree logs washed up on the shore. The last time we were there, we had the pleasure of spotting Orca whales, dolphins and seals just a few hundred feet off the beach! The kids would love to see that!

I'm just going to finish off by saying that even though there is no wi-fi or internet here -deep in the forest or at the sea shore, the connection is excellent! One of the best that we can hope for!

Are you able to give yourself the gift of spending lots of quality time outdoors this week? It's good for the body and the soul!

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Do You Even Know Who You Are?

I currently have no access to internet and I'm most likely hanging out at the beach in Cuba right now (unless my plane crashed). Thanks to the scheduling tool on this blog, this post I wrote at home last week is being published today. Gotta love technology!

So I'm in Varadero, and hopefully my plan to surprise my friends from Ottawa worked! I know at which hotel they are staying here in Cuba and my plan is to just show up and surprise them because they obviously are not expecting me. I hope I don't ruin their vacation...lol!

As much fun as my future self must be having in the tropics at the moment, I know that by now I must be missing the kids, Rob, Precious (our cat) and all the little comforts of home. I probably miss the morning cuddles Théo and I share every day, as he climbs into my bed and kisses me gently on the cheek. I probably miss hearing about Emma's latest project / idea, that she shares with such enthusiasm. I possibly miss hearing Rob's ridiculous songs he sings out loud shamelessly in the kitchen. I might even miss Precious attacking my leg and climbing all the way up my back with her claws. I'm not even being sarcastic here!

Yup, I am away from everything that gives meaning to my life right now (with the exception of alcohol). All jokes aside, this is a great opportunity for me to notice how attached I am to my usual routine and to the roles I constantly play as a mom / teacher / wife. All of that has been stripped away from me for a week. I get a clean slate to explore a different world, both internal and external. It's important to do that every once in a while, even for just a few hours if we can.

Our true identity goes way beyond the different ego-based roles we play. This week, I challenge you to notice the subtle differences in your personality, your tone of voice, your attitude, as you shift from parent, to friend, to employee, to lover, to teacher, to customer...etc. We are all of these Selves, and none of them at the same time. We are powerful spiritual beings in a physical world. Sometimes we forget that, and we get lost in the roles we play so well. We are the witness, the observer who watches behind the different masks we put on.

Hasta la vista,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Homeschooling A Tweenager: OMG!

I love homeschooling my kids, but let's be honest, some days require more patience / presence than others, especially with a tweenager who can be extremely stubborn at times! Today was one of those days. Sigh. I guess I can't expect Emma to be fully functional after a weekend of sleepovers and celebrations with her friends until the wee hours of the morning. I'm kinda jealous actually. Lol. I take her grumpiness today with a grain of salt because I know how important it is for her to hang out with her friends. It helps me keep "the post-party mood" in perspective.

I've learned a lot from the book The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary, actually. What a fantastic book for any parent! The first thing I try to remember when the kids are being difficult is to NOT take their moods, behaviours, or misconducts personally. I remind myself that they are having trouble expressing an emotion appropriately and these negative behaviours are really a call for help. I have to take a deep breath and do my best to stay present and non-reactive. I try to observe the situation as best I can and validate what my child is feeling or saying without thinking "she is doing this to provoke me, I'll show her who's the boss!" Obviously, it can be very challenging to keep our cool, especially as our children get older and become experts at pushing our buttons!

What I find works best with my kids is when I sincerely demonstrate to them that I am on their side, even though sometimes I have to be firm and make rules / set limits they don't like. I explain to them why I've made these choices and how they're ultimately for their own benefit. I might ask them what they would suggest instead as a solution to the current situation. When they feel like we are on the same team, as opposed to me just being the disciplinarian and the boss, there is much less opposition and resistance. Emma pouted for a good while today. I listened to her, gently reminded her that thoughts create emotions, then gave her some space. After about thirty minutes, she came to me in the kitchen and spontaneously gave me a big hug with a sigh of release. Aw.

The "I'm really on your team" approach leaves room for dialogue, and our kids are more likely to open up to us about what is really bothering them. Let's face it, the tantrums are always a superficial expression of a deeper emotion that wants to be expressed and resolved. That's our role as parents, to help our children through the tough times instead of abandoning them when it's inconvenient or embarrassing for us to deal with their drama.

What are some of your biggest challenges with your children? What do you think are the underlying emotions behind their strong reactions? Is there a way that you can help them navigate through these choppy waters?

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Is There A Tug-Of-War Going On Inside You?

I feel like my life is completely different now than it was only a year or two ago. I'm not talking about external circumstances such as where I'm living, what I'm doing with my time, who my friends are...etc. The major change has everything to do with this sense of clarity that I've somehow tapped into, and I'm so very grateful for it. A few years ago, I felt like I was in a constant fog, always filled with self-doubt and unsure of my choices. Now I generally feel empowered, I enjoy my life more than ever and I know without the shadow of a doubt that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right here, right now.

What gave me this clarity and sense of well-being? In a nutshell, I've become very aware of the duality within me: ego versus heart/spirit. The more I cheer for the heart/spirit team, the more clarity and well-being I experience!

Here are some examples of what that inner-struggle may look like in my brain :)

-Ego says "Do something that will give you validation from society"
-Heart/Spirit says "Do something you love that will allow you to experience joy"

-Ego says "Try and fit in, be like everyone else."
-Heart/Spirit says "Unapologetically celebrate who you are : a beautiful, whole, spiritual Being."

-Ego says "Don't let people walk all over you, defend yourself"
-Heart/Spirit says "Let the people who push your buttons be your greatest teachers"

-Ego says "Get up and do something, be someone, stop wasting time"
-Heart/Spirit says "You are a human being, not a human doing. Stillness is beautiful and necessary"

-Ego says "Fear will protect you from bad experiences."
-Heart/ Spirit says "Your thoughts create your reality. You will get what you focus on."

-Ego says "Ask the experts what you should do to improve your life and become happier."
-Heart / Spirit says "The answers are all right here within you, simply learn to listen."

If we can get our attention away from our compulsive mind and move it into our body, the body will always tell us when we are aligned with the heart/spirit or the ego. If we feel tense, anxious, uncomfortable, we are in ego. If we feel good, peaceful, joyful we are following our heart/spirit. How are you feeling right now? Where do you feel that in your body? Which team are you cheering for? The ego or the heart/spirit? Don't resist whatever you are feeling, just acknowledge it with as much compassion for yourself as you can.

What are some other common ego versus heart/spirit struggles you experience on a daily basis? Care to share?

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com