There Is Only One Kind Of Love

I just got home after a wonderful 2 weeks away. I spent my first week in Cuba with some dear friends, and this is the view I enjoyed each morning from my room. I still feel completely elated right now, it's difficult to describe. Have you ever felt so completely filled with love that the people around you probably wanted to punch you? Sorry, but that's how I feel! My heart is overflowing with compassion, gratitude, peace and joy. I feel this deep empathy towards every living creature right now. Am I on drugs? Only coffee!

So what the hell happened to me? How long will this ecstasy last? How do I bottle this feeling and sell it on ebay? Lol! One way I can explain this euphoria is that I took really great care of my body-mind-spirit over the past few weeks, and I was completely open to growing in awareness. I ate lots of raw fruits and veggies, got some sun, did plenty of snorkelling, had great conversations, danced under the stars and laughed lots. When we do the things we love and take care of ourselves, this actually raises our energetic frequency. The higher our frequency is, the more we attract positive circumstances in our lives. A higher frequency also allows us to have a clearer connection with our higher-self, thus we are more intuitive and receptive to our spiritual guidance. When we feel good and in balance, it's easier to open up our hearts and allow the divine love to naturally flow in. I feel like I got flooded by this spiritual elixir and I'm still a little drunk from it! It makes me want to share the love!

Since you have read this far already, I will share something else with you, because there is more to this story. Let me back up a little. For awhile now, I've been very clear on my purpose: to help raise the level of awareness / consciousness on this planet. I often ask "how can I serve? who can I help?" I know without the shadow of a doubt that no meetings are accidental. People are brought together when they offer each other the maximal opportunity for mutual growth and expansion. Sometimes that translates into a smooth, harmonious relationship between two people, but often times it results in a difficult and challenging one. Let's face it, we learn much more when we are called to question the status quo and face the darker, more insecure parts of ourselves, right?

So yes, I was put "on assignment" during this trip. I met someone who, within an hour of meeting, showed me the book he had committed himself to reading on vacation. It was about manifesting an ideal life! I told him the book must be working because he already manifested meeting me -someone who teaches awareness and manifestation for a living! Lol. I was standing in line behind him at the hotel reception -a hotel I booked only because my friends from Ottawa were already staying there. He explained to me how he booked a spontaneous, last-minute trip there and had somehow arrived via Bogota, Columbia and France! I suspect if we had tried to arrange such a meeting, it would have been nearly impossible! Yet here we were, unsuspectingly serendipitous.

As the week went on, our little group of four got to share many great moments together. I was honoured to be able to help my new friend see things from a different, more empowered perspective. In retrospect, I now see how he gave me the exact same gift. He allowed me to viscerally understand a concept I had only grasped with my intellect up till now. I hesitate to write about this, because I know many people will automatically make a judgement before they try to sincerely comprehend what I'm about to explain. This will resonate and make sense to those who are able to see beyond the limited scope of the ego. So here goes.

As you may have guessed by the title of this post, there truly is only one kind of Love. The ego tells us otherwise, because it views everything and everyone as separate and isolated, but romantic love as we know it has more to do with attachment and self-gratification. True Love is not jealous, possessive, demanding, needy and insecure like the ego is. We are hard-wired for Love, and it's not an exclusive currency we are only allowed to give to a few select people in our lives. Whether we give it to our children, our parents, our friends, our partners or even strangers, it's all the same essence! It's what we are made of. Love naturally flows through us when we allow it and it's ok to have the courage to freely give it to others without expecting anything in return. Babies are experts at this! They don't hold back their smiles, their radiance, their joy from strangers. They offer their Love unconditionally to everyone in the same way. As they grow up, they learn to only love those who will love them back, to be cautious, to protect their hearts, to demand certain things from the "one" they have chosen to love conditionally. The heart wasn't designed to restrict the flow of Love this way. It's understandable that we get a little confused when physical attraction gets thrown into the mix, because our ego quickly takes over in that department. It sees, it wants, it says "mine, mine, mine"! :)

I was perplexed about my feelings at first and I felt a combination of guilt and resistance towards this strong current of Love that was flowing in and out of me, but then I realized that it was beautiful, sincere, and that it didn't take anything away from my relationship with my husband. On the contrary, I feel even more Love towards Rob because my tank is so full right now! Obviously, allowing the Love to flow towards others and expressing it physically are two very different animals, especially within the context of a marriage! I think it's healthy for couples to honestly ask themselves if their relationship is mostly ego-driven (restrictive), or built on Love (expansive). It certainly raises a lot of questions, and I had the pleasure of having this discussion with Rob. I was pleasantly surprised by his openness and understanding. We have grown closer in the process.

The bottom line is that when we feel loved by others, it allows us to do something that is normally extremely difficult to do: love ourselves. That feeling of being "in love" is nothing but a reflection of the love we already carry deep in our hearts. We may think it comes from the other person, but the loved one simply allows us to express what's already there within us. That Love is everywhere, it's the fabric of this unified Universe. I am so grateful for this profound lesson I have experienced. I now know that it's entirely possible to feel like we are madly in love with life every single day! It's a conscious choice! How empowering is that!?

Love,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Is Your Relationship Dysfunctional Like Mine?

Dear Rob,

Remember that picture? That was taken in Hartford back in April 2005. Emma was only about 8 months old, and we were off to see the Tori Amos concert. If I'm reminiscing a bit, it's because I miss the way things used to be between you and I. As you know, we've been having our fair share of disagreements lately. I was thinking about how we used to be much closer, we really enjoyed each other's company, and we hardly ever had fights. Now, our cycles of hurtful negativity seem to come back more often, and with much more intensity.

If I'm opening up about this, it's because I know that we are not alone! Unfortunately, the majority of human relationships -particularly intimate ones- are doomed to fall into this love-hate pattern sooner or later, unless a fundamental truth has been recognized. This may be hard to hear for some, but the fact is that very few of us understand what true love is. We simply can't experience true love if we are deriving our sense of self from our ego. It's impossible! Our idea of the "perfect relationship" has nothing to do with true love, but instead with gratification of our egos. True love doesn't suddenly turn into hate, resentment, judgements, blame, jealousy or expectations the minute our egos get threatened. True love is unconditional and it arises from deep within us, not from some exterior source. The polarities of love and hate that we experience in relationships have more to do with codependency than real love.

The problem is, we get into relationships for the wrong reasons. We hope to find lasting fulfilment and happiness, but unless we become aware that our ego will continually sabotage our efforts and create discord, power struggles, negativity and resistance, we will fail. We meet someone, "fall in love", and this allows us to feel more complete for awhile. In its initial, flowering stage, our relationship gives us the impression that the pain we all carry deep in our hearts suddenly dissolves. We feel good, the other one makes us feel loved and important, we are not alone any more. Our egos love this...until time passes and our partner starts to do things, say things, believe things that "we" (or our egos) disagree with. The effect of the "love drug" starts to run out, and guess what resurfaces? Our pain. It was always there to begin with, but we were too distracted to feel it. Now, it feels worse than ever. And who do we blame for it? Our partner!

Does this mean we should avoid relationships, or give up? Of course not. Once we understand the true, challenging nature of relationships, we can see how they offer us the absolute best opportunity to grow in awareness. But let's be clear about what we're getting into before we exchange phone numbers at the bar! There are two main phases in any relationship. Phase 1: we forget our own pain and our egos get strengthened. The "other" appears to be the source of our sudden bliss...until we reach Phase 2. In this second, much less romantic phase, our partners start to mirror back to us our wounds, our vulnerabilities, our weaknesses, and our egos feel extremely threatened, defensive, even aggressive. Our own unconsciousness will turn our partner into an enemy, unless our higher-selves are able to observe what's really happening. If this occurs, then the relationship has the potential to lead you to true fulfilment and happiness!

Rob, I am thrilled and hopeful, because I know this insight has the potential to change our lives. We both want the same thing: happiness. The most direct way to find happiness is through complete acceptance of the now, the present moment. It's not in the future, somewhere down the road, after years of therapy! Instead of both being slaves to our ego-selves, why not help each other see through our distorted veils of illusion? Can we support each other in becoming more aware and less attached to our beliefs, our thoughts, our opinions? Can we allow each other to express our emotions freely, without becoming defensive? Can we gently, lovingly remind each other when the ego has taken over again? This is truly what Conscious Living is all about, and I'm certainly up for the challenge. Are you with me? Let's help each other break free from the shackles of our ego!!

On another note, I realized today that the song I wrote a few years ago entitled "Et si on oubliait tout ça?" perfectly illustrates "egoic, needy love". You can listen to it by clicking on the link below. It will start to play automatically on the page. Yeah, it's all in French, sorry about that. Pour ceux qui parlent français, c'est à votre tour!! Merci de me lire en anglais!

http://www.lisevilleneuve.com/#!book-cd/cnec

Warmly,

Lise
Creator of Conscious Kids and Conscious Health
www.lisevilleneuve.com