I'm sure you must have heard somewhere that we are all "whole, complete, perfect beings." The feeling I got when I heard this saying was not too different from the sensations of nauseousness I experienced during pregnancy. To me, it just sounded like an unfounded statement that begged the question "what about all the horrific acts of violence that people engage in on a daily basis? Are murderers, rapists and criminals whole, complete, perfect beings?" Their behaviours are the antithesis of good.
It took me awhile to really understand this concept, and my comprehension was enhanced when I developed a better understanding of the nature of our reality. In plain English, we live in a world of duality and contrast. The way we can understand and make sense of everything around us is by comparing what we already know. I'm sure you've heard the analogy about the fish in the aquarium that had no idea what water was...until he was lifted above the water and was able to experience what an environment without water felt like. Only then was he able to say "yeah, I know what water is now", even though he had spent his entire life in the substance! It's really the same for us, we need a frame of reference upon which we can integrate new experiences and information.
The new information that comes in via our senses automatically gets compared, categorized and analysed in relation to what we've already experienced. We can't fully understand what "hot" means until we experience "cold" (damn, that Katy Perry song just popped in my head). We don't really realize what health is until we become sick for the first time. The same goes for our emotions, we can't know the meaning of happy until we've been sad. We make sense of reality through contrasts. Duality is everywhere. Yin-Yang / Positive-Negative / Good-Bad.
Credits for this image go to www.tigerfreedom.com
Once we acknowledge this, the idea that we are "whole" beings starts to make more sense. Just like the Yin-Yang symbol above illustrates, we all carry the complete array of emotions / feelings within us. Some are located on the bright, open side, others are on the dark, shadowy side of our persona. We tend to hide our emotions from this dark side from others and even from ourselves, because we've learned over time that it's not acceptable to express these "negative" feelings. We feel like we're only allowed to express positive emotions and something must have gone terribly wrong with us if negativity comes to the surface too often, right? Our sense of "balance" of these two sides is actually quite unbalanced!
Is it realistic to expect ourselves to always be happy, confident, grounded and strong? How would we even understand these states if it were not for their opposites that have a healthy place in our psyche? As I've said before, all our emotions are important, they deserve to be validated and expressed in an appropriate manner. If we deny our darker side and always repress the anger, the rage, the fear, the sadness, the resistance, the jealousy, they will inevitably blow up in our faces. That's when we are the most likely to do something really stupid we'll regret.
Yes, we are indeed whole, complete, perfect beings. Obviously, our behaviours are far from perfect, but we can improve, simply by allowing ourselves to fully embrace the full spectrum of our humanity. Let's give ourselves a break! Let's be courageous enough to face our shadow, because it's beautiful and in the end... it makes us stronger.
Warmly,
Lise
Health Coach / Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com
