What I Never Had The Guts to Express...

I love these guys, Y and C. We've known each other for years, possibly even lifetimes. We used to sing and tour everywhere together. Somehow, when we are reunited -even if it's been decades- there is instant harmony between us. It's as though our individual quirks are simply allowed to be as they are, and this authenticity oozes out as a kind of glue that bonds us into whacky and joyful chemistry.

Feels Like Pretending

But to be perfectly honest, I feel the need to express something. This journey of awakening has transformed life from the inside out, and I find that my relation to "other", any other, has shifted tremendously. Now that I have found the clarity to describe my perspective in words, I'd like to share it because I know that I am not alone. However, I have often felt like I was on a very lonely road. I was unable to fully comprehend what was happening and I didn't quite understand how that affected my interactions with others. But now I see that I was simply caught in a little dance. I was being pulled from one side to the other, spinning between the perspectives of duality and oneness. Sometimes I still feel like I have to pretend, or play along to something that is complete fabrication. I want to talk about that.

My World Has Collapsed

But before we can go any further, we have to go back to the essential question. What am I ? This simple question has completely transformed how I live each day. As I have slowly been letting go of deriving a sense of identity from my mind, body, emotions or perceptions, as I have been continuously and painfully surrendering false ideas of separation, individuality and control... the world has changed. It seemed foolish and terrifying to even want to go there at first - to "lose everything" that I spent a lifetime building and polishing. But now that these superficial structures are crumbling, I can feel the wind in my hair, the sun kissing my skin, and it feels like my true home. It feels like peace. It tastes like freedom.

Never Going Back

I would never go back to living in that hypnotic trance that convinced me that I was something other than pure awareness. This truth that I have come to know is so simple, yet so easily forgotten. Our human conditioning  is so very strong, so entrenched. The world is not there to support our awakening, to encourage us to  melt into the oneness of existence. On the contrary, everything reinforces the idea of personhood and individuality. I say bullshit, because life - surrendered to the Divine - has never tasted sweeter. No need to even mix religion into this. Religion is of the mind. God doesn't need religion to exist. We don't need the mind to FEEL, to KNOW what we truly are in this very moment. We have always felt it. We are life itself, unpolluted by the misperceptions of the ego. It is powerful, pulsating and filled with love.

Yet, how we cling to this illusion that we are the "doer of actions." We cling out of fear, but once we let go, once we trust the deep wisdom that is essentially what we all are under our layers of constructs, life takes care of us. No (restless) mind, no problem. Miracles everywhere. No more "me" and "you", only blooming love. Simple.

Just a Play?

Still, everyday is like a dance, as I get pulled between duality and oneness. I forget, then I remember again and my heart fills with joy and peace. Being with the ones I love brings me back to the familiar conditioning -duality and personhood. In this perspective, I feel like I have to play along, to almost pretend, in order to relate to others in a compassionate and socially appropriate manner. Honestly, I often sense that there isn't much to converse about. The past and the future are not alive in this moment. I have no strong opinions or beliefs, I let things be as they are, and I'm not here to convince anyone of anything, because we each have our own path that will eventually lead us to that freedom that is already within. I'm quite comfortable with silence, and I don't mind listening deeply -although I do it with my entire being, not just the mind, and I won't always say what people want to hear. Sometimes it's  best to say nothing at all. I don't need to be entertained or distracted, I am quite content in solitude.

Boring, Boring, Boring...

So I guess that makes me pretty boring in the eyes of many, but that's OK. I'm not as invested in the changing forms of this world as I once was. I see people as what they truly are -pure love and unlimited consciousness. Sometimes, that makes it hard for me to buy into the little stories our minds cling to. Still, I am deeply respectful and grateful for all the wonderful people in my life - whether their acceptance is present or not.

It feels good to be able to freely express my genuine perspective, as I slowly and gracefully learn to shift from a life of duality to one of unity. I know that as these roots grow deeper and deeper into my being, eventually there will be no more dance, no more gear changes from one perspective to the other. There will only be stillness. Thanks for reading.

Much love to you,

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com

My Spiritual Diary: Week 3

Day 1:

To be honest, I find that relationships are the biggest challenge on the path towards self-realization. In many ways, becoming a hermit, a monk or a nun is easier than swimming daily in the unconscious currents of the world. However, it's through these sometimes difficult interactions with the people who are closest to us that our illusions become shattered. This is a good thing, because shattered illusions mean we are getting closer to the ultimate Reality. I am learning that every kind of relationship -whether it's with a lover, a parent, a child, a friend or a co-worker- is defined through the perspective and expectations of the egos involved. By default, a relationship implies separation: two people, different views, differents needs, different wants. Relationships between individuals are constantly changing and evolving, therefore they must continually be redefined and renegociated. This is all part of the great illusion -the game we're in. As our illusions shatter one by one, we begin to see that there is only truly One relationship. There is only unconditional Love. But the ego is already disagreeing with me!

Day 2:

I am sitting in the garden with my bare feet touching the ground. I am physically and mentally grounding myself. After only about 10 minutes of doing this, I already feel more relaxed. I think my cat Mitsy knows this too, as she's rolling on the ground next to me, purring. Touching trees also does wonders for grounding. Reconnecting to Mother Earth daily is important for our health, and it just feels soooo good!

Day 3:

There is so much mental noise exchanged in conversations. Silence allows the being-ness and the fundamental Love to shine through to Other. Most of the content exchanged verbally generally has to do with labelling, defining the perceived separation, justifying positionalities, planning the future or dwelling on the past. Sometimes important, valuable information is being shared or exchanged, but very often, if we are very honest with ourselves, we can notice how much of what we say originates from the ego's deep insecurities and need for validation. Most of the time, my prefence is to stay quiet, but that can be pretty boring or even awkward, because we, "socialized beings" have been taught that there is something fundamentally wrong with silence during a conversation. Would you agree?

Day 4:

It's easy to feel blissful these days, with such beauty all around me! I am in Love with the fragrant flowers, the tranquil trees and the varicoloured vegetables growing everywhere. I even welcome weeds these days because I am learning all about how to use them as food and medicine. Each morning, I am surprised by the new bloom of the day. Today, I was pleased to see how this gorgeous Delphinium plant just popped up without having been officially planted. Mother Nature, you are truly amazing!

Day 5:

I picked up a little book at the Edmonton library and finished it in an evening. It's called I Knew Their Hearts, by Jeff Olsen. Wow! It's a heart-breaking, eye-opening, inspiring true story. Here is a quote from the book:

"I felt the hustle and unrest of the hallway of a hospital. I watched the doctors and nurses as they went about their duties. I moved with ease all around them. I realized none of them were aware of me. They could not see me, but -wow-could I see them! My perceptions were expanded. I knew each person I saw perfectly. I knew their joys and their sorrows. I knew their love, their hate, their pain, and their secrets. I knew everything about them, every detail, every motivation, and every outcome. I knew every emotion they were feeling, and I knew intuitively why they were feeling it. In an instant, with no contemplation, I knew them as well as I knew myself. I knew their hearts."

What a beautiful description and manifestation of Oneness! If only each one of us could experience this for one hour, all our illusions of separation would be shattered! The world as we know it would change in an instant.

All the best,

Lise Villeneuve
www.lisevilleneuve.com

My Love Story With a Rodent!

Meet Skittles, a Western Gray baby squirrel. He's about 6-7 weeks old and had an unfortunate encounter with our cat Precious. Precious brought him home to us the other night and we were unsure if he was harmed or not. He was able to run when we found him, but it was more like a wobble, so Rob took him in the house in a cardboard box. What next? Thank goodness we can google pretty much anything these days!

We quickly realized that bringing him in was the right thing to do, because a baby squirrel still completely relies on mama to get hydration, nourishment, warmth and protection from predators. Out alone in the cold night, he would probably have died. But what were we supposed to feed him, considering he was still nursing?

We started to hydrate the little guy with a solution of warm water / sugar and salt administered orally with a syringe the vet had given us after our cat was spayed. He was shaking, so we wrapped him up in an old baby spit-up blanket. The next day, I kept reading up on what to do and we ended up buying a little hamster cage with a dispenser bottle and some puppy formula (which he loved!). Already, I was starting to get attached to Skittles.

As a mammal who's had two children, I just can't help but feel love and compassion towards a helpless, orphaned creature! The fact that this one was simply adorable didn't help my obsession. I bonded with this little critter like he was my own. It felt like I was hard wired to act this way, almost like I was on automatic pilot. When I looked into his tiny little brown eyes, it's as though consciousness itself was staring back at me. We were connected by pure Love, because that's what we're all made of, regardless of our varying shapes and sizes. Beyond the illusion of our separate physical bodies, the squirrel and I are One. Sounds a little nuts, I know.

It's the same for you and I, regardless of our current understanding of time and space. We are also One in this very moment. It's sort of like our cells in our body. If our cells start fighting with each other because they "disagree" and are greedy, this will harm the equilibrium of our body (the whole). If, on the other hand, our cells cooperate and lovingly help each other, our body thrives. What if you and I were just like microscopic cells in the body of the Divine? Being part of oneness is difficult for us to comprehend in our three-dimensional perspective, but we remain connected all the same.

Back to squirrel talk. After a couple days of nursing Skittles back to health, he was full of life and energy again. He's a lucky squirrel, because his mama somehow located him and spent a good 48 hours on the outside wall of our house waiting for the right moment to approach Skittles! Here they are, getting reacquainted with each other in the pictures below.

Skittles is now well and free again. I'll miss you, little squirrel. You have shown me yet another expression of real Love. When we look beyond our ego, we can see true Love glowing everywhere.

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach / Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com