Where To Get The Best Connection...

If everything went according to plan, I should be on the plane right now on my way back to Edmonton (from Cuba). Thank you once again, automatic scheduling tool for posting this while I have no internet access! Tomorrow morning, I will be flying straight to Vancouver, where Rob and the kids will be picking me up! I CAN'T WAIT to see them!!! We will drive out to Victoria for a couple of days (hi Lin, did we arrive yet?) and then we'll head off to beautiful Tofino.

Rob and I were in Tofino last February (without the kids) and we walked through the breathtaking, majestic forest filled with enormous old trees. I'm sure the kids will be speechless once they enter that enchanted field of serenity. Just look at this picture below, it looks like I'm in the womb of that ginormous tree!:)

I look forward to running around on the spacious beaches famous for their many tree logs washed up on the shore. The last time we were there, we had the pleasure of spotting Orca whales, dolphins and seals just a few hundred feet off the beach! The kids would love to see that!

I'm just going to finish off by saying that even though there is no wi-fi or internet here -deep in the forest or at the sea shore, the connection is excellent! One of the best that we can hope for!

Are you able to give yourself the gift of spending lots of quality time outdoors this week? It's good for the body and the soul!

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Do You Even Know Who You Are?

I currently have no access to internet and I'm most likely hanging out at the beach in Cuba right now (unless my plane crashed). Thanks to the scheduling tool on this blog, this post I wrote at home last week is being published today. Gotta love technology!

So I'm in Varadero, and hopefully my plan to surprise my friends from Ottawa worked! I know at which hotel they are staying here in Cuba and my plan is to just show up and surprise them because they obviously are not expecting me. I hope I don't ruin their vacation...lol!

As much fun as my future self must be having in the tropics at the moment, I know that by now I must be missing the kids, Rob, Precious (our cat) and all the little comforts of home. I probably miss the morning cuddles Théo and I share every day, as he climbs into my bed and kisses me gently on the cheek. I probably miss hearing about Emma's latest project / idea, that she shares with such enthusiasm. I possibly miss hearing Rob's ridiculous songs he sings out loud shamelessly in the kitchen. I might even miss Precious attacking my leg and climbing all the way up my back with her claws. I'm not even being sarcastic here!

Yup, I am away from everything that gives meaning to my life right now (with the exception of alcohol). All jokes aside, this is a great opportunity for me to notice how attached I am to my usual routine and to the roles I constantly play as a mom / teacher / wife. All of that has been stripped away from me for a week. I get a clean slate to explore a different world, both internal and external. It's important to do that every once in a while, even for just a few hours if we can.

Our true identity goes way beyond the different ego-based roles we play. This week, I challenge you to notice the subtle differences in your personality, your tone of voice, your attitude, as you shift from parent, to friend, to employee, to lover, to teacher, to customer...etc. We are all of these Selves, and none of them at the same time. We are powerful spiritual beings in a physical world. Sometimes we forget that, and we get lost in the roles we play so well. We are the witness, the observer who watches behind the different masks we put on.

Hasta la vista,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Homeschooling A Tweenager: OMG!

I love homeschooling my kids, but let's be honest, some days require more patience / presence than others, especially with a tweenager who can be extremely stubborn at times! Today was one of those days. Sigh. I guess I can't expect Emma to be fully functional after a weekend of sleepovers and celebrations with her friends until the wee hours of the morning. I'm kinda jealous actually. Lol. I take her grumpiness today with a grain of salt because I know how important it is for her to hang out with her friends. It helps me keep "the post-party mood" in perspective.

I've learned a lot from the book The Conscious Parent by Shefali Tsabary, actually. What a fantastic book for any parent! The first thing I try to remember when the kids are being difficult is to NOT take their moods, behaviours, or misconducts personally. I remind myself that they are having trouble expressing an emotion appropriately and these negative behaviours are really a call for help. I have to take a deep breath and do my best to stay present and non-reactive. I try to observe the situation as best I can and validate what my child is feeling or saying without thinking "she is doing this to provoke me, I'll show her who's the boss!" Obviously, it can be very challenging to keep our cool, especially as our children get older and become experts at pushing our buttons!

What I find works best with my kids is when I sincerely demonstrate to them that I am on their side, even though sometimes I have to be firm and make rules / set limits they don't like. I explain to them why I've made these choices and how they're ultimately for their own benefit. I might ask them what they would suggest instead as a solution to the current situation. When they feel like we are on the same team, as opposed to me just being the disciplinarian and the boss, there is much less opposition and resistance. Emma pouted for a good while today. I listened to her, gently reminded her that thoughts create emotions, then gave her some space. After about thirty minutes, she came to me in the kitchen and spontaneously gave me a big hug with a sigh of release. Aw.

The "I'm really on your team" approach leaves room for dialogue, and our kids are more likely to open up to us about what is really bothering them. Let's face it, the tantrums are always a superficial expression of a deeper emotion that wants to be expressed and resolved. That's our role as parents, to help our children through the tough times instead of abandoning them when it's inconvenient or embarrassing for us to deal with their drama.

What are some of your biggest challenges with your children? What do you think are the underlying emotions behind their strong reactions? Is there a way that you can help them navigate through these choppy waters?

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Is There A Tug-Of-War Going On Inside You?

I feel like my life is completely different now than it was only a year or two ago. I'm not talking about external circumstances such as where I'm living, what I'm doing with my time, who my friends are...etc. The major change has everything to do with this sense of clarity that I've somehow tapped into, and I'm so very grateful for it. A few years ago, I felt like I was in a constant fog, always filled with self-doubt and unsure of my choices. Now I generally feel empowered, I enjoy my life more than ever and I know without the shadow of a doubt that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right here, right now.

What gave me this clarity and sense of well-being? In a nutshell, I've become very aware of the duality within me: ego versus heart/spirit. The more I cheer for the heart/spirit team, the more clarity and well-being I experience!

Here are some examples of what that inner-struggle may look like in my brain :)

-Ego says "Do something that will give you validation from society"
-Heart/Spirit says "Do something you love that will allow you to experience joy"

-Ego says "Try and fit in, be like everyone else."
-Heart/Spirit says "Unapologetically celebrate who you are : a beautiful, whole, spiritual Being."

-Ego says "Don't let people walk all over you, defend yourself"
-Heart/Spirit says "Let the people who push your buttons be your greatest teachers"

-Ego says "Get up and do something, be someone, stop wasting time"
-Heart/Spirit says "You are a human being, not a human doing. Stillness is beautiful and necessary"

-Ego says "Fear will protect you from bad experiences."
-Heart/ Spirit says "Your thoughts create your reality. You will get what you focus on."

-Ego says "Ask the experts what you should do to improve your life and become happier."
-Heart / Spirit says "The answers are all right here within you, simply learn to listen."

If we can get our attention away from our compulsive mind and move it into our body, the body will always tell us when we are aligned with the heart/spirit or the ego. If we feel tense, anxious, uncomfortable, we are in ego. If we feel good, peaceful, joyful we are following our heart/spirit. How are you feeling right now? Where do you feel that in your body? Which team are you cheering for? The ego or the heart/spirit? Don't resist whatever you are feeling, just acknowledge it with as much compassion for yourself as you can.

What are some other common ego versus heart/spirit struggles you experience on a daily basis? Care to share?

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Who Wants To Join Me In Cuba?

I did it. I booked my ticket to Cuba yesterday and I'll be leaving at the end of April for a week! I'm not going with the family, this is a recharge-mom's-battery kinda trip. Not that my battery is at a critically low point, but that's precisely what I'm preventing by taking some time off like this. After all, as a Health and Wellness Coach who constantly praises the benefits of self-care, I have to practice what I preach! Lol. Nothing relaxes and grounds me more than the ocean. I plan on getting plenty of exercise, rest and fresh food. The kids and daddy will spend a week with their cousins, so they'll be breaking their routine and having a good time too!

To be honest, I actually find it quite difficult to be away from the kids. We spend so much quality time together homeschooling that I consider it painful to be away from those sweeties. It's a good spiritual practice for me to notice how much my monkey mind constantly obsesses about the kids. When I'm away from them, I realize how deeply attached I am. I'm also forced to temporarily let go of my identity as a mother. It feels wonderfully liberating to be able to go play and explore the world all on my own. Whenever I get a chance to do that, amazing synchronicities always seem to pop up.  This will be the perfect opportunity to let my intuition guide me towards experiences that raise my awareness. And when I come home, I'll have so much love to give it will be sickening!

Yup, the first step to feeling empowered and in control of our life is through daily self-care. This doesn't mean you have to go to Cuba, but it does mean you have to eat real food, get some exercise, sufficient rest, and do something you love on a daily basis. If you don't, you'll burn out and you won't be able to give to others. It all sounds obvious, yet how many of us actually give ourselves the minimal requirements of self-care? Just the food we put in our mouthes changes everything! That food becomes our cells, our brain, our thoughts, our emotions, our perceptions, our reactions! How much life force is present in what we are eating these days? I challenge you to take extra good care of yourself this week and see how that affects your energy level!

If you'd like some guidance on how to take great care of yourself in order to create the life you truly want, I have 2 remaining openings in my group coaching class that starts April 18th 2015 here in Edmonton. If Edmonton is not in your neck of the woods, that's ok, I've also designed an online self-care program that gives you simple, step-by-step guidelines each week. Don't hesitate to contact me for more information.

If you prefer, you can simply meet up with me in Cuba!:)

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Did You Turn Into A Frustrated Adult?

In a sense, kids are our best spiritual teachers. The younger ones intuitively know how to live in alignment with their heart and spirit. They know their purpose: to enjoy life! When they are hungry, they eat, when they are tired, they sleep (most of them, anyway!). They unashamedly express ALL their emotions, despite the fact that some are less socially acceptable. If they feel sad, they cry. If they feel angry, they express their anger. When they are happy, everybody knows about it and it's contagious! Kids don't over rationalize things, they simply go with the flow and do what they love in the moment. They are unapologetic about who they are, and their self-worth is intrinsic.

It's unfortunate that society slowly teaches them to grow up and "evolve" into serious, responsible, adults who, in many cases, end up being completely disconnected from that free-spirited and happy being they once were. 

Welcome to the world of adults! Instead of honouring all our emotions, it's more appropriate to wear masks and only show a happy face even when we feel sad, depressed, anxious or angry. Instead of doing what we love, it's more responsible to keep a secure job we hate. Instead of loving ourselves just as we are, we equate self-worth with academic or professional achievement, financial success, social status, material possessions and power. Instead of allowing ourselves to play, to follow our bliss, to enjoy this precious time we have, it's more mature to be serious and lost in our compulsive thoughts. Who wrote these rules, anyway? They SUCK!

No wonder so many adults are unhappy, depressed, sick and even suicidal. We have to change our way of life! We have to go back to the way we lived when we were kids! We've really got it all backwards as adults. Do we want our children to lose this magical connection to their hearts? Of course not. Is it even possible to prevent them from becoming the typical sleepwalking, frustrated adult? Yes! The answer, my friends, is consciousness! Let's help each other wake up from the dream of this physical reality. Let's become more aware of the power of our spirits. Let's take baby steps to slowly reconnect to our inner-child. What's one single step you can take today that's in alignment with what your heart wants?

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Are You On The Express Way To Lasting Happiness?

I had a vivid flashback from my past life yesterday!

I'm not talking about a past life in a different body from this one, I'm simply referring to my past as a singer-songwriter and touring artist...and let me tell you, it does feel like it was in another lifetime! As exhilarating as it was, I would NOT go back to that lifestyle as I feel much more balanced and content now. Have a look at the video above, you'll see what that looked like. Why am I even writing about this topic, you may ask?

Well, yesterday, we helped my parents move some junk out of their basement. There was a large box of my old stuff, and in it, I found a thick file of emails my dad had printed and kept. They were all emails I had sent him during my "I'm-trying-to-make-it-in-the-music-business" years. Wow. I can't believe how much clarity I gained from reading those old messages! It almost felt like putting a puzzle together. I told Rob, as I was reading one letter after the other, that it felt as though I was reading someone else's life, not mine!

I almost felt nauseous, as my body was flashed back to some of the predominant emotions I felt back then: insecurity, anxiety, confusion, powerlessness. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't all bad. My life was like a giant, exciting adventure that brought me all over the globe, but when you're on a roller-coaster ride, you have to expect extreme highs and extreme lows. I was fully embracing the polarities of life, completely unaware that my ego was in the driver's seat!

What I found the most difficult - but probably didn't have the hindsight to realize back then, was that my success depended on everyone else's approval : the record producers, the tour organizers, the radio stations, the judges at the music competitions, the people who approved the grants, even the public who listened to my music! Talent, discipline and determination were just not enough for me to keep moving forward. I had to scramble from job to job, never knowing what was coming up in the next few months.

I considered myself to have been one of the lucky ones, too, since I won some competitions, had a unique opportunity to do a solo tour in 8 countries, worked on cruise ships and received funding to produce my CD and music video. Despite the exhilarating ride, what started out as a love and passion for music turned into pressure and high expectations of perfection from myself and everyone. What I really wanted was to feel loved, appreciated, special and validated -just like everyone, right? However, it took me awhile to realize that I would never find those things through a career, no matter how successful I'd get.

When I came back home to Montreal after my whirlwind world tour, things fell apart. At least, that's what it looked like on the surface, but now I realize it was the beginning of true sanity. Nothing made sense to me any more, I was pregnant and I went through this deep, dark depression. It was sort of like a "dark night of the soul". I thought I'd never snap out of it, but I did after a few months, and it was the beginning of my gradual awakening. For the first time ever, I discovered what the ego was, and I understood how it had been a major driving force in my life. Although part of me had been seeking truth through writing and songs, the lifestyle I had been living didn't make sense to me any more. Seeking happiness externally was futile.

I am so thankful to now have this clarity! I am much more aware of the many superficial, yet alluring ego traps society offers us. I know there is nothing wrong with pursuing projects, goals and ambitions, as long as we don't expect to find fulfilment through these secondary roads. I now know that the Express Way to lasting happiness, peace, joy, harmony and love is Consciousness. It will drive you right back to your heart and spirit.

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com