I was in Cuba a couple weeks ago, splashing around in the warm, turquoise waters of the Caribbean. Our little group was discussing what makes a good vacation. Was it the hotel amenities? The food? The company? The beach? We concluded that a combination of all these things made somewhat of a difference on our overall level of enjoyment, but the most determinant variable was our state of mind. Were we committed to having a good time from the start, or were we ready to complain at the first inconvenience?
Before booking this trip, we all read the Trip Advisor reviews to have a better idea of the environment we were about to immerse ourselves in, but the truth is, we never have full control over our circumstances, no matter how much we prepare ourselves. Shit happens. This rule doesn't just apply to our vacations, obviously, it applies to our daily life. The good news is that even though we have limited control over our external circumstances, we have full control over what happens in our inner-landscape. By inner-landscape, I mean our thoughts, our emotions, our perceptions and our reactions.
Let me illustrate this with an example. First, we think a thought (such as "this hotel room sucks, I got ripped off"). Thoughts automatically translate into emotions in our body, so we may suddenly start to feel frustrated, even angry. Now all our perceptions become tainted with this anger, so we're more likely to notice more things that justify and increase our frustration. "I can't believe they gave me this crappy room, I don't want to be stuck in this dump, it will ruin my vacation." Next thing we know, we are yelling at the reception, having a full-blown tantrum that doesn't get us anywhere because no other rooms are available!
Thankfully, the story didn't end up like this for me, but I did have a below-average room in Cuba. The air-conditioner, safe and fridge were out of order, the room was full of mosquitoes and was on the first level, which was very loud with no view at all. I didn't feel good in this room, so I decided to use this negative situation to my advantage. I learned fairly recently that any time we are feeling bad and don't like what's going on around us, it's a golden opportunity to clearly affirm what we would like to experience instead. It takes a little effort to remember this at times, but our thoughts really do create our reality, so staying stuck in negativity and complaining about what we don't like only brings us more of what we are focusing on -bad things!
I began to imagine myself in a nicer, quieter room, higher up, with a beautiful view of the ocean. That felt good, and I truly believed it was possible to make this happen. I calmly went to the reception, explained my case, but was told there were no other rooms available. They told me to try my luck again tomorrow. I did, and was very pleased to be upgraded to the top floor, corner room with no neighbours, ocean view, with a complimentary bottle of Rhum! The maid even made beautiful swans, boats and animals with the towels every day! I was very grateful for this turn of events, it made my vacation even better than I decided it was going to be!
So I got upgraded, no big deal right? The point I'm trying to make here is that I could have arrived at this same result more aggressively, by complaining, by resisting, by raising my voice, by thinking and feeling thoughts/emotions that are unpleasant and create unnecessary stress for myself and others. That was a choice I had. Acting up and being demanding doesn't mean we'll get what we want faster, on the contrary. We're not naturally conditioned to act this way, but if we're able to be crystal clear about what we want instead of resisting the hand that's been given to us, we actually have more power to alter our circumstances.
So when the food is repetitive and cold, the mosquitoes are eating us alive and the pool smells like sewage, we still have control over how we are going to interpret our reality! Can we actively do something to change our situation? If the answer is yes, we can focus on taking action without falling into the trap of negativity, complaining and resistance. If the answer is no, we might as well focus on something that will make us feel better, unless we want to attract more negative circumstances our way! It's a matter of perception.
What determines if we are going to be happy or unhappy is not actually the events and circumstances that are occurring in our lives, it's always our personal interpretation of these events! We can have complete control over our inner-landscape if we learn to observe and tame our monkey-mind. Once we master this, nobody / nothing has the power to make us react any more. I'll let you know when I get there! It may take a couple more lifetimes! ;)
Warmly,
Lise
Health Coach and Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com
No comments:
Post a Comment