5 Life Hacks I Secretly Experienced in Cuba

Photo credit: Yvon Loiselle

I was recently in Holguin, Cuba, with a small group. I left Edmonton feeling tired, stressed and in need of some serious physical rejuvenation. I returned home after one week in Cuba feeling like a kid on Christmas morning! It's been over three weeks since my return and I can still feel the positive effects from this trip of a lifetime!

What was it about this trip that made it so special? I've been to Cuba many times before and have travelled all over the world, but there was something uniquely different and refreshing about my recent experience in Holguin. It's no mystery actually. This trip was extraordinary because of the wonderful, spontaneous, crazy, hilarious, generous, brilliant friends I was so fortunate to travel with. The chemistry in our group was deliciously electrifying! Every day was a sweet fiesta, and I have to mention that nobody in our group drank alcohol -except for me, I like the occasional cold cerveza.

I had SO much fun, and I also had realizations that deepened the sense of peace and contentment I still feel from this unforgettable trip. Charles, Catherine, Yvon, Nadia...here are the five life hacks I secretly experienced in Cuba:

Number 5:
I really enjoyed our little stretching and mindfulness sessions by the beach, but my experience was that mindfulness doesn't have to be done formally to be effective. It can be your little secret. During the entire trip, I was practising mindfulness for a few minutes here and there. I felt deep gratitude every time I saw a bird, a flower, a butterfly, the gorgeous ocean or when the breeze caressed my skin. I'm sure you all did too, right? I mean, it was difficult NOT to find a reason to be grateful in this paradise. It may sound silly to even mention, because gratitude comes so naturally when we immerse ourselves in something different and special. The trick is to keep it up every day, especially when we are back in our routines at home, because an attitude of gratitude radically changes our perception, alters our brain and enhances our mood. Now that I have experienced the sublime power of gratitude in Cuba, I am reminded to keep practising it at home. After more than three weeks, I still feel like I'm on fire (in a good way, not talking about inflammation here :)

Photo credit: Charles Tanguay

Photo credit: Catherine Kubash

Here's another little secret. Every time I walked down that cobblestone path that led to the beach, I breathed deeply, one step at a time. I felt the heat under my bare feet, and I noticed what I was feeling and thinking. Nobody had to know I was doing a "micro-meditation," I was simply bringing my awareness into my body in the present moment. I also did this while snorkeling, eating and floating in the pool. Back at home, I do this while I'm doing the dishes, gardening, walking...etc. No need to sit quietly on a cushion in a dark room. Life offers endless opportunities to practice mindfulness in a way that is integrated to our everyday activities. I think it's even more effective this way.

Photo credit: Lise Villeneuve

Number 4:
It was my experience that taking good care of the body (regular movement, eating well, sweating a lot and drinking gallons of water) allowed me to really feel grounded in my physical vessel. It may sound obvious, but sometimes I have a tendency to be more in my head and less in touch with the body. This very embodied awareness I felt in Cuba made it easier for me to physically feel and release any passing emotions that wanted to arise. As a result of this practice of letting go of old emotional "stuff", the mind quickly became a lot quieter and peaceful. I remember just sitting on the beach one morning, feeling overwhelmed by this strong wave of gratitude. I felt the emotion move through me and it spontaneously moved out as tears. There was no hesitation or resistance. I felt absolute peace. At home, I am reminded of the importance of daily physical movement to feel fully grounded in my body. This really does make a huge difference in our physical and emotional well being.

Photo credit: Charles Tanguay

Number 3:
I realized that from this place of grounded presence in my own body, it became a lot easier to remain aware of the stressful thoughts that inevitably came up now and then. In a state of embodied awareness, I found that it was much easier to question the validity of my stressful thoughts and, more importantly, to be able to notice the immediate negative impact these thoughts had on my body (contraction, heaviness, rigidity, lethargy). The connection between thoughts, the body and emotions became crystal clear to me and any emotional tension could be spontaneously released through this awareness. The result of this was a lot more energy because emotions were not being repressed or suppressed in the body. At home, I am reminded to question my thinking anytime I start to feel physical tension or contraction.

Number 2:
Hanging out with this bunch of clowns in Cuba, I was reminded that no matter how mature or refined we think we are, we are all children at heart. We should give ourselves permission to sing, dance, play, laugh our butts off and enjoy life. Every. Single. Day. Not just on special occasions. Once we start allowing ourselves to shamelessly express our joy again (like we spontaneously did when we were little), we realize how naturally intoxicating it feels to be fully alive! Why the heck do we cut ourselves off from our own passion and playfulness? Yvon, Nadia, Catherine, Charles: you could give seminars on how to unleash the inner-child. I laughed so hard it hurt. At home, I am reminded to live joyfully from the heart, to follow my creative impulses (no matter how embarrassing that may look), and to seek the company of people who are not afraid to live fiercely and freely.

Photo credit: Yvon Loiselle

Number 1:
To quote one of my very favourite authors, Dr. David Hawkins: "Nothing in the universe happens by chance or accident. The universe is a coherent concurrence and interaction of innumerable conditions attendant on the infinite number of energy patterns."

Photo credit: Charles Tanguay

Photo credit: Charles Tanguay

I believe everything we experience serves our evolution. Everyone we meet is our teacher and our mirror. I don't think we have as much control over "our" life as we think we do, so we might as well enjoy the ride! Worrying is a waste of time anyway. All this to say that this experience was perfect in every way. Catherine, Charles, Yvon, Nadia: is it just me, or do you also feel like this trip was meant to be? I feel like my heart was broken wide open. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. A quand le prochain voyage?

Warmly,

Lise Villeneuve
Mindfulness Teacher
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Are You A, B or C Today?

Which One Are You Today: A, B or C?

-A-

Some days I feel so inadequate.

My heart is restless, forlorn and heavy.

Like a prisoner trapped in a cell made of flesh and bones,

I am unable to escape the dissonant noise of my own cruel mind.

My past wounds and fears keep me confined, confused and paranoid.

Life feels like a burden, my days are filled with angst.

Self-loathing, I begin to wonder if there is something deeply wrong with me.

-B-

Some days I feel so confident.

My heart is filled with joy, I feel competent and fortunate.

The world is my oyster, I have everything under control.

My mind flatters me with kind words, I feel fantastic!

My past wounds and fears have been tucked far, far away from my consciouness

I feel strong and invincible. 

I am in love with all these positive aspects of myself.

-C-

Some days I feel so very aware,

My heart is peaceful, I feel alive and present.

I hear the noise in my mind and watch the thoughts go by without clinging to any of them.

I notice the positive and negative feelings in my body and let them pass right through.

I observe my unconscious human programming and feel compassion for myself and others.

Instead of running away from them, I allow my past wounds to come up to the surface.

I fully feel the trapped emotions, surrender and release them so they can permanently heal.

Life feels more gentle and more predictable from within

I remember that I am a spiritual being living in a temporary human body.

I am not my thoughts, my emotions or my conditioned responses

It makes no sense for me to cling to these or to even want to defend them

With this understanding, I remember to be patient, kind and forgiving with myself 

Especially when I fall back into the trance of duality (A,B or a mix of both)

What I truly am is a Love so pure, so powerful, so miraculous that -when allowed to shine through the layers of ego, instantly obliterates this illusion of who I think I am. Once the illusion is shattered, there no longer is a personal self. No more suffering. Only freedom, joy and deep peace.

Which one are you now?

Peace, my friends. Peace!

Lise

www.lisevilleneuve.com

How To Help Our Loved Ones During a Crisis

Part 1: Top 5 Life-Changing Facts About Emotions

Part 2: Helping our loved ones through an emotional storm

Part 3: Practical tools and techniques to deal with negative emotions at home, at work and in the classroom.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part Two:

Helping Our Loved Ones Through an Emotional Storm

In Part 1 of this article, we reviewed the following five points:

1) All our emotions are valid, acceptable and important, especially the negative ones!

2) To instantly have a good idea of where you are on the scale of emotions, simply notice how you are feeling in your body.

3) Everyone can learn to move themselves up the scale of emotions by choosing better-feeling thoughts or actions, or by releasing pent-up emotions.

4) Don’t try to escape or ignore negative emotions, even if they are often inconvenient and uncomfortable. They are sending you an important message. Make the appropriate changes and move on.

5) Don’t get sucked in. Negativity is highly addictive and contagious, so don’t dwell there too long. Be aware of the secret pleasurable payoff our egos get from negativity.

It's Not What You Think!

Understanding and practising these five essential points about emotions will already bring us a huge sense of empowerment and well-being. It's important to educate ourselves - and especially our children about emotional literacy, because many would-be emotional outbursts can be prevented simply by applying these five life-changing principles. As radical as this might sound to many, we have much more control over the way we feel than we might think. Emotional resilience and self-regulation are skills that can be learned and perfected. When we have the courage to work through our emotions consciously, the end result is invulnerability and imperturbability. These are definitely enviable assets in such a volatile and unpredictable world.

What can we do?

This next section is all about helping our loved ones through their tough emotions. How can we help them prevent outbursts? What is the true cause of an emotional crisis? When a storm hits, what can we do to make it easier for them? What attitudes should we adopt? What is going on internally and externally?

1.   Teach and Practice Prevention First

If we can increase our awareness of where we find ourselves on the scale of emotions at any given moment - and we learn how to catch ourselves when we are headed towards a negative spiral - we can adjust our thoughts and actions accordingly and maybe even avoid a crisis. The key is to practice this technique when we are feeling calm and centered, or when we are not completely emotionally overwhelmed. If we get to that point of overwhelm, then it's often too late to turn things around and avoid a crash because the negative emotions have built up too much momentum. So when it's too late for prevention, or when life unexpectedly hits us or our loved ones with a major challenge, what's the best way to deal with an emotional storm?

2. Understand the Real Cause

It’s crucial to understand the real cause behind any emotional upset. This will probably surprise and maybe even shock a few people. You have been warned! The ego will not like this one bit. It will strongly resist, but try to keep an open mind. As surprising as this may sound, the true source, or cause, of all our feelings (positive and negative) is always internal and not external. In other words, people or circumstances can’t make us feel anything unless those emotions are already present inside us. This is best explained by the brilliant psychiatrist Dr. David Hawkins, who wrote:

"The rationalizing mind prefers to keep the true causes of emotions out of awareness and utilizes the mechanism of projection to do this. It blames events or other people for "causing" a feeling and views itself as the helpless innocent victim of external causes. "They made me angry." "He got me upset." "It scared me." "World events are the cause of my anxiety." Actually, it's the exact opposite. The suppressed and repressed feelings seek an outlet and utilize the events as triggers and excuses to vent themselves. We are like pressure-cookers ready to release steam when the opportunity arises. Our triggers are set and ready to go off. In psychiatry, this mechanism is called displacement. It is because we are angry that events "make" us angry. If, through constant surrendering, we have let go of the pent-up store of anger, it is very difficult and, in fact, even impossible for anyone or any situation to "make" us angry. The same, therefore, goes for all other negative feelings once they have been surrendered."

What happens in the case of an emotional crisis is that a trigger (often external) taps into a major area of suppressed or repressed (unconscious) feelings. This can create a sense of overload to the conscious mind. Strong emotions, accompanied by irrational behaviours sometimes follow.

3.   Address the Internal Problem First

What does this mean? It means that we have to own our feelings. It means that we are 100% responsible for the way we feel inside, and there is no point in blaming anyone or anything. However, this does not mean that we have to fully agree and accept everything. We are free to speak up, to act and to fix the problems "out there", but we will have much greater power to do so if we fix our emotional wounds "in here" first. We can firmly demand change without being stuck and blinded by our own anger, rage, or hatred. Once we understand this for ourselves, we can help our loved ones untangle their internal and external issues. Let me explain...

If our child or our friend feels intense emotional discomfort, there are likely two factors to consider, or two facets to work on simultaneously:  the possible external triggers - or problems they have to deal with (a bully, a break up, getting fired...etc) and their internal emotional state (fear, low self-esteem, anxiety...etc). There are really two issues going on: their internal pain, and the trigger, or the external problem. We are conditioned to believe that the problem has caused the internal emotional pain, but remember that it has only aggravated it, not caused it. You might be able to work through the internal and external issues simultaneously, but the first priority should be to acknowledge and validate the feelings your loved one is experiencing, then allow them to calm down. Help them verbally express what they are feeling. You can say something like "I can see that you are feeling some________ and this must be difficult for you. Take a minute to breathe, calm down, and then we'll talk about it."

4.   Remember, It’s Not About You

The first question to ask ourselves when a loved one is having an emotional outburst is "do I really want to help my child / student / friend, or do I want to be right and appear to be in control?" At first, the answer might seem obvious, but beware! Strong negative emotions are highly contagious and if you’re not anchored in awareness right from the start, your ego might begin to take things personally and feel threatened. You don’t want to get triggered too, because that will complicate the situation even more. So if you really want to help, be willing to accept a bruised ego. Things will likely get messy, so take a deep breath, stay present, and remain as neutral and calm as possible. Remember, no matter what - despite the hurtful words or disrespectful behaviours that may be coming your way - that in the midst of their outburst, it's really not about you. They might be projecting their negative feelings onto you, but it's really about them dealing with overwhelming emotions. It's about them losing control and needing help to find clarity again. It's about them crying for help in a desperate way, because in that moment, they just don't know what else to do. Try to calm them down and show them that you understand what they are feeling. Try to "be on their side” as much as possible and help them to manage their raw, uncensored feelings.

5.   Accept What Has Happened

Many times, when people act in ways we don’t approve of, we think to ourselves something along the lines of "they SHOULD have known better than to act this way." This kind of thinking is not helpful or even true, because the fact is, they have already acted out. Despite the judgements we often have about others, everyone is always trying to do the best they can at any given moment. If they could have acted in a more appropriate way, they would have, but they didn’t. Human behaviours and emotions are complex, and very often, we are driven by unconscious drives. So focus on what is right here, right now. Help your loved one get back to a place of emotional balance, and then you can give consequences for the bad behaviours – but you can do this without being angry. This is no time to desert, ignore or shame the ones we love, as tempting as it might be for our egos to show them ‘who’s the boss.’ Hopefully next time, things will be better.

6.   Be a Catalyst For Healing
One of the greatest gifts you can give someone is to help them release those heavy, suppressed negative emotions that have been a burden for far too long. This emotional pain we all carry negatively affects our energy, our health, our creativity and our overall well-being. The only way to permanently release negative emotions is to face them consciously. So the next time a crisis happens under your watch, you have a choice. You can either consider it an inconvenience and a nuisance, telling your loved ones to “get their act together” and push those feelings way back down again, or you can help them heal. You can teach them how to release those feelings; you can offer them clarity and compassion; you can guide them through the discomfort so that they come out of the storm lighter and brighter. What an empowering act of Love! 

    In Part 3, I will give you practical tools and techniques to release negative emotions at home, at work and in the classroom. In the meantime, you will find plenty of resources on my website: www.lisevilleneuve.com

Thanks for reading!

Lise

www.lisevilleneuve.com

Top 5 Life-Changing Facts About Emotions

Why do we feel emotions? What is their purpose? Is it really possible to teach kids how to self-regulate their moods? How should we deal with the tantrums and meltdowns caused by negative emotions? How should we manage our own negative emotions that feel so uncomfortable? In this 3-part article about emotional intelligence, we will explore all these questions, and much more.

Part 1: Top 5 Life-Changing Facts About Emotions

Part 2: Helping our loved ones through an emotional storm

Part 3: Practical tools and techniques to deal with negative emotions at home, at work and in the classroom

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Part one: 

Top 5 Life-Changing Facts About Emotions

Most of us have been conditioned to love and value our positive emotions, but we avoid our negative emotions like the plague! We run away from them, we hide them from ourselves, we project them onto other people, and we even feel ashamed or guilty when these negative emotions catch up with us. Why do we do this? Nobody can feel only positive emotions all the time, so we should give ourselves a break. We’re only human, and that means we get to experience the full spectrum of emotions: positive and negative. (Below is Robert Plutchik's wheel of emotions).

As promised, here are the Top 5 Life-Changing Facts About Emotions:

1. All our emotions are valid, acceptable and important -especially the negative ones! They are not "wrong" and nobody should feel guilty or ashamed about the way they feel. Remember that our feelings and our behaviours are two different things. You can correct behaviours without shaming the feelings behind them.

2. Emotions are at the heart of our internal guidance system. Feelings create thousands of thoughts, and these thoughts then generate more feelings and emotions. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle. Our emotions are directly transferred and felt in our body. Positive emotions will make us feel good, relaxed, open, energized and inspired, whereas negative emotions will make us feel tense, constricted, closed, lethargic, sluggish and drained. So by paying attention to the way you feel in your body, (open or closed, good or bad) you’ll always know if you’re in a positive or negative emotional state. How do you feel now?

3. The emotional states we experience are not random at all. Emotions have been classified in a scale of emotions, from the lowest states to the highest. It's very difficult to make a sudden jump from the lower levels (such as depression) directly to the highest levels (such as optimism or joy), or the other way around. Our emotional states fluctuate during the day, gradually moving up or down the scale. Here’s the good news! We can change how we feel with our thoughts, our actions and our focus. To do this, we just need to reach for a better-feeling thought, or an action that will bring us joy. Try it now. Think about something that makes you smile. Breathe in that feeling. You have just moved yourself up one notch on the scale of emotions! It’s very simple. If we learn to pay attention to how we’re feeling in our body at any given moment –and we do our best to keep ourselves up in the more positive range of emotions on the scale, we won’t suddenly be ambushed by strong negative feelings. However, when the negative emotions do show up, that’s ok! They serve a very important purpose and they should not be ignored.

4. Negative emotions tell us when we're off track, or out of alignment with the wisdom of our higher-Selves. Negative emotions are like a wake-up call. They are telling us that we are now quite low on the scale of emotions and it would be wise to slowly climb back up by either changing our actions or our thoughts. It’s also possible that some old unresolved emotions have been stirred up again. If that’s the case, we can decide if we’d like to work on releasing those suppressed emotions, or if the timing is not appropriate, we can shift our focus to better-feeling thoughts or actions and come back to these at a later time.

5. Everyone experiences negative emotions sooner or later, but we don’t have to stay stuck in negativity. Beware! Negativity can be highly addictive and contagious, so you don’t want to dwell there. It’s addictive because it offers a secret, pleasurable payoff to the ego. Unchecked, it will quickly pick up momentum and generate more negativity. Remember: the purpose of negative emotions is to make us aware that we are heading in the wrong direction, or that something needs to be released if we want to move forward and feel good again. Once we have gotten the message and made the appropriate changes, we can start to move back up the scale of emotions to a better-feeling state. Sometimes –like in the case of grief, or severe depression, the healing process can take some time, so we have to be patient with ourselves. Having an attitude of surrender and acceptance of whatever feelings we are experiencing accelerates the process. If we resist our negative feelings, we can’t heal them, because we’re just trying to escape. Instead, these feelings have to be willingly released. I will be giving more details about releasing negative feelings in the following sections.

In short:

1)     All our emotions are valid, acceptable and important, especially the negative ones!

2)    To instantly have a good idea of where you are on the scale of emotions, simply notice how you are feeling in your body. Feeling good / open means you are experiencing positive emotions (#7 and up on the scale), feeling any kind of tension or resistance means you are experiencing negative emotions (#8 and down on the scale).

3)     Everyone can learn to move themselves up the scale of emotions by choosing better-feeling thoughts or actions, or by releasing pent-up emotions.

4)     Don’t try to escape or ignore negative emotions, even if they are often inconvenient and uncomfortable. They are sending you an important message. Make the appropriate changes and move on.

5)     Don’t get sucked in. Negativity is highly addictive and contagious, so don’t dwell there too long. Be aware of the secret pleasurable payoff our egos get from negativity. Nevertheless, it feels much better to be in a state of joy and peace. Anyone can get there. It just takes a little will and courage.

Stay tuned for parts 2 and 3. In part 2, we’ll discuss what you can do to help a loved one navigate through an emotional storm. Part 3 is all about practical tools and techniques to help you deal with negative emotions at home, at work or in the classroom.

In the meantime, if you’d like some extra resources to teach children about emotional intelligence (mindfulness), I’ve written a complete program called Conscious Kids / Enfants Lucides. The lessons are taught through creative short stories, followed by fun activities that can be done at home or in the classroom. 

Level 1 covers:

- The relationship between thoughts and emotions;

- How to move ourselves up the scale of emotions;

- How to deal with strong negative emotions, and more. 

Thanks for reading! Coming soon is Part 2: Helping our loved ones through an emotional storm.

Lise Villeneuve

www.lisevilleneuve.com

Teachers and Parents : Are Negative Emotions OK?

The Post-School Tantrums
I recently got flashed back to when our daughter came home from public school - when she was just nine years old. Very often, she would walk in the door, immediately run to her room, slam the door and be in a mood until supper time. Our son Théo often did the same thing when I picked him up from preschool. When he got home, he needed to vent all that stress and pent-up frustration he had accumulated during the day. It was only at home that he finally felt comfortable enough to let it out -thankfully. Did you ever experience this with your kids?

Model Students?
I realise now that our kids simply didn't know how to deal with their (socially unacceptable) negative emotions when these came up at school or preschool, so they did the only thing they could to not disrupt the class : they ignored the emotions, repressed them and let the pressure build up inside... until they got home.

Stress, Negative Emotions and The Brain
I've been homeschooling my kids for over six years now, and we have totally fallen in love with this way of life. For us, it means more flexibility, creativity, efficiency and autonomy. It means more fun learning and less stress. But this blog post is not about the pros and cons of homeschooling. It's about what we can do to help kids thrive in a learning environment. Many of my friends are wonderful teachers and I think it's important that we have an open and honest conversation about what we can do to help kids cope with their strong negative emotions in the classroom, as well as at home. We all intuitively know what research has proven: that stress and negative emotions are detrimental to learning.

Nobody Can Escape
BUT. Whether we want to admit it or not, most of us experience negative emotions on a daily basis, despite the fact that we highly resist the discomfort these bring. They are just a normal part of life. Kids in the classroom are not exempt from negative emotions - au contraire! Like Emma and Théo, many kids are obedient and they are eager to please their teachers or parents - but this doesn't mean they don't feel stressed out at times or are immune to experiencing strong negative emotions. In fact, the best behaved kids are probably more likely to repress and suppress their negative feelings in order to comply. All emotions that are not acknowledged, expressed or neutralised remain stuck in our bodies, so it would be extremely helpful to give students some tools, strategies and even a little physical space to help them cope with their negative emotions.

Classrooms of the Future?
Wouldn't it be life-changing to remind kids that they don't have to be ashamed, or embarrassed about the way they feel, even if they feel irritated, or angry, or scared? Wouldn't it be easier to teach a class if each student knew how to self-regulate his moods, especially when those big, scary negative emotions return? Isn't it pointless to try to force-feed information to a pupil who is emotionally overwhelmed? I know that many teachers are doing the best they can, often with overcrowded classes and tight schedules. But small, incremental changes in our attitudes towards negative emotions can start to make a big difference.

Théo's Tantrum
Wednesday this week, Théo was having a rough morning. For some reason, he was feeling very irritated -even before we sat down for school. This intense mood made it difficult for him to focus on the French lesson we were doing together. He ended up throwing his pencil across the table and yelled "I'm not doing this!" This is not typical for him. I simply said "I can see you are feeling very frustrated right now, why don't you take a little break, do something that will help you to feel better, and we'll get back to this later." I added "you know there's nothing wrong with feeling frustrated, right? It's OK if you feel this way." Théo looked a little surprised and relieved.

A Blessing In Disguise
It's in that moment that I realised how lucky I was to be able to witness the tantrums, the anger fits, and the negative self-talk when they happen. Why? Because at least our kids are comfortable enough to spontaneously express their negative thoughts and feelings -as opposed to repressing or suppressing them for fear that they might be considered disruptive, inappropriate or socially unacceptable. And rightfully so. Théo would probably never have the guts to act out like this in a classroom. Honestly, I prefer the tantrum over the repression of his feelings.

The Most Valuable Subject?
I am grateful to have the opportunity to teach kids how to honour and learn from their strong negative emotions. Science, math, French, music and social studies are all very interesting, but mindfulness may be the most important and valuable subject they ever learn.

If you'd like some mindfulness resources for kids, including how to work with strong negative emotions, please go to my website, www.lisevilleneuve.com and look for Conscious Kids or Enfants Lucides in French. I have also created a deck of free, printable mindfulness cards that is great in the classroom or at home.

Each one of us is changing the world right now.

Peace!

Lise Villeneuve
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Things I Wish I Knew: The Paradox of Pain

Things I Wish I Knew:The Paradox of Pain

I wasn’t consciously aware of it, but I have been searching my entire life for something I only recently discovered. How different things could have been had I known this earlier on! So much unnecessary suffering could have been avoided. I wasn’t even aware that I was trying to escape my pain at any cost.

Just Fitting In

Like everyone else around me, I was just doing whatever I could to avoid feeling those queasy, raw, edgy feelings of discomfort whenever they showed up. Denial, projection, repression and suppression were my strategies of choice to run away and escape from those negative feelings. I kept myself as busy and distracted as I possibly could in order to ignore or numb the underlying pain. I was fortunate enough to have a fairly normal childhood with no major trauma, yet the pain had been building up over the years, simply as a condition of living in a world that encourages and rewards disowning and projecting our negative feelings onto others.

What Problem?

Since I didn’t even know there was a problem - this denied pain I was carrying around everywhere was preventing me from experiencing true joy and inner peace - how was I to know there was a solution that could dramatically improve my quality of life? Why wasn’t I taught this simple solution in elementary school, or in University, when I got my psychology degree? Maybe it was best that I discover these things on my own, when I was ready to truly hear them. After all, I believe everything in this universe unfolds in perfect divine order. My journey into the heart of consciousness has allowed me to grow, to unlearn and to peel off many of the layers of protection I had built around myself. Now, I am happy to be able to share what I have discovered with others. And what is that?

The Exact Opposite Of What We Do

The pathway to true freedom and inner peace is so simple, yet it is counterintuitive and rather uncomfortable. We are all wired to seek pleasure and to avoid pain. Evolutionarily, this has ensured our survival. However, we are now at a stage in our evolution that allows us to soar beyond mere survival. Now more than ever before, we have the potential to thrive. We can reach levels of bliss that allow us to transcend the drama and suffering of this world. But for that, we have to stop running from our pain. There is no other way around it. We have to willingly welcome our pain and then let it go. We can learn to see pain for what it is – trapped emotions from our past – not who we are.

Breaking Free

As unpleasant and challenging as it may appear, we can all find the courage to face those uncomfortable feelings that make us squirm, hide, run, blame, judge, and sabotage ourselves. Once we become aware of the many avoidance behaviors or crutches we desperately cling to in order to push the pain away (keeping busy, alcohol, food, sex, television, isolation, projection onto others...etc), we can start to crack the walls of the prison that has been keeping our pain inside all these years. We can stop reacting to life from a place of fear and instead start to see our triggers as opportunities, or invitations to actively release the hurt we have been carrying inside for too long.

Run, Forrest, Run!

So when that queasy, edgy feeling returns, we can stay present with it instead of trying to make it go away. We can observe what’s happening inside our body and let the emotions come out instead of running from them, or demanding that people or circumstances stop poking us where it hurts. Once the negative feelings have been released and we feel ok again inside, all our energy becomes available for problem solving, for simply enjoying the moment or for actively creating the reality we choose.

Healing From The Inside Out

It takes a while to get used to it, but this process of facing and surrendering our pain can be embraced daily. At first it might feel strange and terrifying, but as you keep releasing the negative feelings and then consciously refocus attention on positive things that allow you to feel good, you will heal your life from the inside out. When we are brave enough to face our pain, we eventually become fearless. When we are fearless, all the boundaries and limits we set around ourselves crumble. Paradoxically, fully feeling and releasing our pain is the quickest way to end our individual and collective suffering.

So there you have it. Now I know... and so do you! Thanks for having taken the time to read!

With Love,

Lise

www.lisevilleneuve.com

Anyone Else Feeling Like Crap Lately?

Feeling Like Crap...

For the past couple of days, I've been feeling a little down, sad and fearful of our future. At the core of these negative emotions was a feeling of powerlessness towards the state of our planet. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, as I sense that this feeling of powerlessness is embedded in our collective consciousness right now. The negativity is simply overwhelming. 

"Us" Versus "Them"...

Everyday, we see examples of people reinforcing the illusion of our separation from each other. Whether we like to admit it or not, most of us have bought into the "us" versus "them" mentality. The "me" versus "you" mentality is exactly the same, by the way. Science now confirms we are all connected in a unified field of consciousness. We are all One. 

This means that when our brothers and sisters thrive, this positively affects us. It also means that when they suffer -whether on a physical, mental or emotional level - this negatively affects us as well. We may not be consciously aware of this entanglement, thanks to the ego's mechanisms, but we are indeed electromagnetically connected to each other (look up the quantum entanglement experiment). It's no wonder that we can all feel the heaviness in the field right now.

Apples and Oranges...

So how can we deal with this negativity? Personally, I've been feeling confused by three overlapping issues that I think should be addressed separately:

1) What is the best, most effective way to actually take a stand for what we believe to be right in the world? Can we make a difference?

2) How do we deal with our own negative emotions? How can we remain aware of what's going on in the world without constantly feeling depressed, powerless or numb? 

3) How can we decipher truth from falsehood? Are we being told the truth? Are we being manipulated on a large scale? How can we explain the apathy of so many people?


Hocus Focus...

Let's start with #2 -How to deal with our own negative emotions. It all starts here. First of all, we control what we focus on. Emily Maroutian's quote beautifully explains this: 

"Energy is the currency of the universe. When you “pay” attention to something, you buy that experience. So when you allow your consciousness to focus on someone or something that annoys you, you feed it your energy, and it reciprocates with the experience of being annoyed. Be selective in your focus because your attention feeds the energy of it and keeps it alive, not just within you, but in the collective consciousness as well."

Our Digital Addiction...

Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we get exposed to stuff that brings us down. Since we're all interconnected, particularly through the internet nowadays, our focus is largely influenced by the collective focus. These days, it ain't the most uplifting! 

When we're not feeling resilient, when we are emotionally vulnerable, we should probably be extremely careful about what we expose ourselves to. I'm not saying to live in a vacuum, or to be in denial about the world, but to CHOOSE the best moments to educate ourselves about current events that have the potential to suck the energy right out of us. When we feel powerless, depressed, numb or apathetic, we can't make any positive changes, and in fact, we bring down the collective energy of our planet, making it harder for others to find solutions.

Oops! Too Late...

But many of us get contaminated with fear and negativity on a daily basis! Now what? The only way to release negative emotions is by embracing them and expressing them appropriately. The 4-minute video below beautifully illustrates how emotions get stuck in our body, and how to release them: 

Recharge Your Battery...

Once we are back in alignment with our higher-self, we feel better, and we become much more resilient, empowered and inspired. It's only in this state that we can truly make positive changes in the world. This answers question #1 -What's the most effective way to make a difference in the world? 

Spiritual-Emotional Armour...

If we want to be activists, peaceful warriors or freedom-fighters, we have to be dressed properly for the job! We have to plug into the Source that creates our shield of power and emotional resilience. We can't go out on the battlefield in a vulnerable, wounded state of anger, fear, sadness or resistance and expect to make a positive difference. 

Here is a 30-second video that teaches a heart-coherence technique to instantly neutralize the effects of stress and negativity. It works!:

Did You Forget?

When we get overwhelmed with negative emotions, including apathy, it's especially easy to forget or to underestimate that our greatest power is within. By creating a loving, compassionate, empowered energy field that emanates from our heart, we affect everyone around us. We are literally changing the world by saying "no" to the negativity and fear that we are being fed daily. 

This brief video with Gregg Braden lifted my spirits instantly:

Illuminati? New World Order?

Now what about question # 3 -How can we decipher truth from falsehood? Are we being told the truth? Are we being manipulated on a large scale? How can we explain the apathy of so many people? I recently discovered the very well produced documentary called "Thrive" (see preview below). Although it was released in 2011, it's still very relevant today. 

Could we be controlled by a powerful elite, a cabal? Should we take the Illuminati's plans of a New World Order seriously? I thought this was just conspiracy-theory fiction, until I started hearing it over and over again from an increasing number of respectable sources. I'm not sure what to think at this point. I would love to hear what you think, but please do NOT watch this if you are feeling emotionally vulnerable right now! Although this documentary proposes solutions to the problems they are exposing, it can still be very unsettling to watch.

That being said, you can watch the entire movie for free -available in 27 languages- by streaming it right here: http://www.thrivemovement.com/the_movie 

Join the Force, not the Dark Side...

Regardless if we are being told the truth or not, it's important to remember what we discussed in questions # 1 and # 2. How we respond to our circumstances positively or negatively influences the field that connects and affects us all. 

Feeling negative emotions is not bad in itself. Feeling crappy is an important signal that tells us we are off track. We are simply not aligned with what serves our best interests -from a spiritual perspective. To release these negative emotions, we have to become very aware of them and we have to stop feeding them with more negative thoughts and focus. Once we free ourselves from the negativity and get realigned with our Source of power, we are then in the best position to change the world. 

Here's What You Can Do Now...

Please join me today in creating a beautiful field of love, compassion and joy around ourselves. This field will extend out to our communities, our countries and our planet. Breathe deeply in and out of your heart area, focus on something that makes you feel joyful. Let that energy radiate around you. Thank you for making a difference! Thank you for sharing this with others.

Much Love,

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com