Mindfulness: the Cult

-Mindfulness Bites-

Mindfulness: the Cult

By Lise Villeneuve

What exactly is mindfulness anyway? I’ve attempted to explain it many times to family members who are very religious and somehow, they think mindfulness IS Buddhism, or (gasp!) some kind of satanic New Age cult. Therefore, in their eyes, I am headed straight to hell for practising such heresy. But don’t worry, we’re still one big, loving family. Our gatherings are always very lively and stimulating, there is never a dull moment!

But seriously, mindfulness has nothing to do with religion or even New Age fads. In fact, mindfulness is much closer to psychology than religion. By the way, in case you’re wondering, despite my upbringing, I’m not religious at all -in the sense that I don’t participate in any particular rituals from any specific faith. However, I consider myself very spiritual and I do strongly believe in a divine creator or Higher Power, to avoid the label “God.” So whether you’re religious or not, it’s all good, there is no conflict, no contradiction between mindfulness and religion.

What is it? I would say it’s the art of being aware, of paying attention. Paying attention not only to what’s happening in our external world, but, more importantly, to what’s going on in our inner world. Mindfulness develops our emotional intelligence. It’s kind of like the instruction manual we were never given at birth that helps us figure out the relationship between our thoughts, our emotions and our bodily sensations.

I’m not quite sure why this seems to threaten my religious family. Perhaps it’s the meditation aspect of mindfulness that makes them uncomfortable. Meditation makes me uncomfortable too, especially when I have to sit in the same pose for a long time and my legs start to cramp up, but I guess that’s a different kind of discomfort. Meditation is simply a way of quieting the mind and being still. Mindfulness encourages us to practice noticing our thoughts and our feelings so that we can become less reactive, less controlled by them. It empowers us to make wiser decisions with a clear mind.

Why has mindfulness become so incredibly popular over the last few years? Probably because of its many scientifically-proven benefits. Such as? Well I’m glad you asked. There are so many benefits that I decided to incorporate them into a little rap song. I’d like to dedicate it to certain members of my family (all in good humour):

When you feel like a mess, like a big ball of stress

You can always rely on mindfulness

Take a deep breath, fill up your chest

Mindfulness will help you feel your best

Notice your thoughts, notice how you feel

Mindfulness will help you keep it real

Mindfulness will help you keep it real

Mindfulness keeps your brain real sharp

It helps your memory and it’s good for your heart

It lowers your blood pressure, brings down your stress

It helps with depression, it helps with distress

Notice your thoughts, notice how you feel

Mindfulness will help you keep it real

Mindfulness will help you keep it real

It improves your focus and boosts resilience

It makes you feel good so you can show off your brilliance

Improve your health and your self-compassion

With mindfulness: It’s the latest fashion

Notice your thoughts, notice how you feel

Mindfulness will help you keep it real

Mindfulness will help you keep it real

Mindfulness helps in so many ways

It’s like “miracle whip”, you know, the mayonnaise?

It gives life some flavour, it gives it some punch

It helps you cope when you’re in a crunch

Mindfulness really fills your cup

So if it’s a cult, then where do I sign up?

Mindfulness really fills your cup

So if it’s a cult, then where do I sign up?

Thanks for reading, and for more detailed information about the benefits of mindfulness check out this link: https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/benefits-of-mindfulness/
(Mindfulness decreases stress and anxiety levels, improves emotion regulation, induces a state of relaxation, which in turn improves higher brain functioning, increases immune function, lowers blood pressure and heart rate, increases awareness, attention, clarity and focus, it accelerates recovery of the body, decreases depressive symptoms, increases self-compassion, improves general health, decreases reactivity, increases curiosity, tolerance, patience and self-acceptance, it improves academic performance, it’s a buffer against bullying and depression, it boosts resilience, reduces behavior and attention problems in children, improves job performance in the workplace, decreases burnout, and it primes our brain for  better learning and remembering.)

Sincerely,

Lise Villeneuve
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Breathe Baby, Breathe

-Mindfulness Bites-

Breathe Baby, Breathe

By Lise Villeneuve

On the day I was born, July 20th, nineteen-never-mind-the decade, I refused to breathe. Just ask my dad. The doctors tried smacking my tiny bottom to make me cry and breathe, but apparently I didn’t mind the spanking. After a little while longer, the medical team became nervous and one of the nurses tried this new technique she had apparently seen on t.v. She blew on me. I don’t know if it was the unpleasant aroma of her breath that startled me out of baby bliss, but it worked. I cried my little heart out and took my very first inhalation of air on this Earth. Don’t worry, the pace of this story will pick up and I won’t bore you with every little detail of my life. Luckily, I’ve forgotten most of it anyway.

All this to say that ever since I was born, it seems as though breathing never really came naturally to me - unless someone blew on me, but thankfully that hasn’t happened since my birth, or at least I don’t remember. I was always a shallow breather. Perhaps this is one of the reasons why I was drawn to singing later in my teens. It forced me to breathe deeply, at least when I was on stage. My singing teacher would tell me he thought I was asthmatic. That was no compliment in the singing world, but I got over it. I’m a survivor.

Luckily I learned how to breathe properly when I was singing, but nobody ever told me that it would be incredibly beneficial to keep breathing deeply during the rest of the time - which was about 96 % of my life. That’s a crying shame because I missed out on the numerous benefits of deep breathing. Here are just a few: deep breathing is a natural painkiller, it reduces stress and anxiety and relaxes the body and mind, it improves blood flow, reduces inflammation in the body, improves digestion, detoxifies the body, stimulates the lymphatic system, increases energy, it improves lung and heart function, improves focus and even memory. Wow! That’s quite the list, and if you don’t believe me, here’s a great article by Ben Fishel that lists 21 benefits of deep breathing backed by scientific studies.

How much would we be willing to pay for a pill that would give us all these positive effects? Bottom line is deep breathing instantly improves our physical, emotional and mental well being, and it’s completely free! So why didn’t I know this earlier?

I must have known it intuitively. Come to think of it, maybe my great love of snorkeling has something to do with giving myself a chance to practice deep belly breathing. When my face is in the water and I look down at that mysterious world of colourful sea life, all I hear is the sound of my slow, controlled, deep breathing - in and out of the snorkel. Swoosh, Swish. Swoosh, Swish. Perhaps one of the reasons snorkeling feels so good is a result of that rush of oxygen I get. It’s an instant feel-good buzz. I suppose I could have saved a small fortune by simply learning how to breathe properly instead of having to fly to the Caribbean each year to oxygenate my brain while snorkeling. Oh well, it was fun.

Well they say you end up teaching what you most needed to learn yourself. It’s no surprise, then, that I now teach mindfulness, which includes deep belly breathing. Watch out, here comes the teacher in me. As you keep reading, take a deep breath through your nose and let your belly fill up and expand just like when you’ve eaten too much and have what my teen calls a “food baby.” Unfortunately, sexiness is not an immediate benefit of practising deep belly breathing, however, by becoming more relaxed, healthier, more focused and in a better mood, you certainly will become sexier by default.

OK. Back to deep breathing. Inhale through your nose, expand your belly, then exhale slowly out of your mouth. That’s it. You now know the secret to an improved life. Seriously, continue to breathe like this and notice how it instantly changes the way you feel. Imagine if we all breathed like this 24/7! There would likely be no need for drugs or alcohol. Mind you, the occasional glass of red wine with a side of deep belly breathing is a pretty healthy combo. So cheers to that!

Lise Villeneuve

www.lisevilleneuve.com

I Had the Strangest Dream Last Night...

When I first opened my eyes this morning (January 2nd, 2019), I was unsure of what "reality" was. I was still immersed and captivated by the vivid dream world I reluctantly left behind. And what a dream! It all felt so incredibly real. From this newly awakened state that was likely precipitated by the smell of coffee, reality shifted. THAT was just a dream. The familiar sights and sounds of my bedroom were real. Or were they? From my new bodily perspective, it was easy to assume that all those images, sensations, thoughts and feelings from my dream were just an illusion -all just wild creations from my mind. Yet, what was so unusual about this dream is that it seemed to convey that from the perspective of universal consciousness, or "I am", the "real world" was just as much of an imaginary bubble as the dream that I so easily dismissed as unreal. Confused yet?

The point is we can't know we're dreaming unless we are in a position of awareness, such as being the observer or witness. When we dream at night, we have no idea that what we're experiencing isn't "real" until we find ourselves in a new state of awake awareness in the morning. Could this also be what happens when our being merges with the universal mind? Do we become detached enough to know that "real life" is also just a dream? From this hightened state of knowingness, are we able to see that "real life" is no different than our dream world?

So what was my dream about? It was about snakes. I was in a cave, accompanied by children, and there was this big, yellowish-green snake. I was not particularly afraid of it, but the children were, so I chopped it up with a metal tool. A little while later, there was another snake. It was a white viper. Something in the dream specifically told me it was a viper. I really don't know much about snakes, but I looked it up this morning and it turns out white vipers are extremely rare. Anyway, this viper was right in front of me on the sand and I knew just how dangerous it was. Next thing I knew, it had a hold of my left hand with its fangs (I am left-handed). I knew that I had to stay calm and not let my fear take control of me. The viper was testing me. It was staring at me with its black, shiny eyes. It knew that I knew it had the power to kill me instantly. I remained calm and noticed how beautiful his eyes were. At that moment, I surrendered my life to a higher power. I knew I would be protected because I trusted divine will. I was gentle with the snake and was communicating with it -sending it genuine love. Very slowly, I moved its head off my hand with my right index finger. The viper was then out of the picture. I felt fine, but I could see the trace of its fangs pressed into the skin on my hand. My mind was telling me to go to the hospital to get the antivenom just in case, but I felt good and decided to trust that all was well. I woke up feeling refreshed and uplifted.

The meaning? After having looked up the symbolism of snakes and their different colours, this is what I believe my subconscious mind was communicating: the yellowish-green snake I so easily chopped up represented my attachment to the physical body, thoughts, emotions and the "real world". The white viper represented spiritual life, universal consciousness, surrendering to the divine will as well as the death of the ego and all its deep-rooted fears. I relinquished control, surrendered my fears and personal will and trusted that everything was unfolding in perfect divine harmony. I know this was no ordinary dream. The universe is always communicating with us in so many different ways. Are we listening?

With love,

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Two Quotes Every Parent / Teacher Should Read

"We all carry wounds in us that we received as children, and taking the path of healing these wounds makes it much easier for us to relate to and understand the children in our life. Whatever we haven't transformed, we're likely to pass on to our children and to our students. Our suffering will become their suffering. This is why practicing mindfulness in our daily lives is so important. It is not just to avoid burnout; mindfulness allows us to transform in the depths of our consciousness. If you are not at peace, how can you impart peace to your children and students?"

-Thich Nhat Hanh, Planting Seeds, Practicing Mindfulness with Children

"Children who are raised by parents who are conscious, and therefore both at peace with themselves and connected to their inner joy, discover the abundance of the universe and learn how to tap into this ever-flowing source. Viewing life as their partner, such children respond to life's challenges with curiosity, excitement, and a sense of reverent engagement. Brought up to be inwardly peaceful and to know their inherent joy, they in turn teach their children to live in a state of joyful abundance."

-Shefali Tsabary, The Conscious Parent

These two quotes speak volumes! I just had to share them here because I find them so incredibly important and inspiring. What do you think?

There is one more thing I'd like to share. The Himalayan Meditation Centre in Edmonton will be offering a 10-week mindfulness class for kids aged 5-13 starting next January (2019). One or more parents are invited to attend and participate. The class will be held on Saturdays from 1-2 pm. The Conscious Kids curriculum will be used, which means that all the concepts are taught through creative short stories and fun, engaging activities for families. The course is designed to help kids develop their emotional intelligence, lower their stress, boost their confidence & improve their mood and focus. You may have guessed that I will be teaching this class, along with my kind and very gifted colleague who came here all the way from Tibet, Dr. Kunga. Openings are very limited and are based on a first come, first serve policy. For more information and to sign up, please visit conscious-kids.ca. 

Warm regards,

Lise Villeneuve

www.lisevilleneuve.com

Are You Game?

Are we really all that different?

On the surface, it may look like we are all unique and have very different needs, challenges, desires and ambitions. However, once we have the courage to dive a little deeper into the heart of who - or what - we are, we soon discover that what we truly crave is universal : inner peace, joy, unconditional love, and freedom from our negative states.

Many of us intuitively know that these qualities are nowhere to be found in the world « out there », yet we continue to search for them by constantly rearranging the circumstances of our life. This is like trying to change the reflection we see of ourselves in a mirror, without being willing to modify or to question the source of the image itself - who we are.

What is at the root of our constant restlessness, our agitation and our psychological suffering? It is this profoundly distorted image we have of ourselves. Are we merely separate entities made of flesh and bones, or are we interconnected spiritual beings having a temporary human experience? As long as we hold on to the idea of a separate self dominated by the survival instincts of the ego, then lasting freedom, inner-peace, joy and unconditional love will remain out of reach.

To be honest...

Frankly, I am not interested in helping people simply rearrange the circumstances of their life so they can feel temporary relief, wordly success or superficial self-confidence. I am not interested in patching up the cracks in their wounded ego so that they can « function normally », like everyone else who is sleepwalking under the trance of their ego. Rather, I am interested in helping individuals wake up permanently to their full potential as a spiritual being. This is where real emotional, physical and spiritual healing begins. This is where true, unwaivering Self-confidence is born. This is the realm of miracles.

Wanting to transcend the ego takes courage, dedication and humility. It’s not an easy or popular route. At first, the ego thinks « yes, that’s what I want, that’s what I need to feel fulfilled», but this is a trap. It’s not about making our personal selves better, stronger or more powerful - although paradoxically, this often happens as a result of raising our level of consciousness. Disidentification from the ego is all about stripping away our programming and the limiting beliefs that hold us back as spiritual beings.

How is it done? By developing an awareness of what we really are; by surrendering negative emotions; by healing old wounds; by letting go of what holds us back; by opening our hearts and by humbly trusting the ever-present divine grace that guides us back to wholeness.

As difficult as it has been at times, this has been my journey for over two decades. I discovered that my entire life was essentially an illusion that kept me trapped in unecessary suffering. At first, I understood this with my mind, then, little by little, I experienced it through my heart. Because I have been through and continue to move through this process of spiritual surrendering on a daily basis, I am now able to hold that space for others to do the same thing. I do it by sharing a sacred space that includes creativity, some moments of silence, breathing, laughter, warm beverages and a whole lot of love.

Spirituality is not like working out at the gym. We cannot learn how to raise our level of consciousness by « doing » , or by simply trying to fix the problems our minds cling to. We have to allow ourselves to be. We have to find the courage to feel whatever comes up, as unpleasant as that might be sometimes. We have to learn how to be at peace with what is. It’s not enough to sit in meditation and chant mantras three times a week, because life happens outside of these bubbles of isolation. How do we react when things don’t go our way? Is the ego still completely running our internal programming outside of meditation class?

The good news is that every second of every day, as our life unfolds with its inevitable ups and downs, we can practice being more spiritually aware. We can allow ourselves to be what we truly are. We can wake up from the dream over and over again. Are you game?

If you are in the Edmonton area and would like to know more about the private sacred spaces I hold, you can reach me at consciouslivingsolutions (at) gmail dot com.


Warmly,

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Are You A, B or C Today?

Which One Are You Today: A, B or C?

-A-

Some days I feel so inadequate.

My heart is restless, forlorn and heavy.

Like a prisoner trapped in a cell made of flesh and bones,

I am unable to escape the dissonant noise of my own cruel mind.

My past wounds and fears keep me confined, confused and paranoid.

Life feels like a burden, my days are filled with angst.

Self-loathing, I begin to wonder if there is something deeply wrong with me.

-B-

Some days I feel so confident.

My heart is filled with joy, I feel competent and fortunate.

The world is my oyster, I have everything under control.

My mind flatters me with kind words, I feel fantastic!

My past wounds and fears have been tucked far, far away from my consciouness

I feel strong and invincible. 

I am in love with all these positive aspects of myself.

-C-

Some days I feel so very aware,

My heart is peaceful, I feel alive and present.

I hear the noise in my mind and watch the thoughts go by without clinging to any of them.

I notice the positive and negative feelings in my body and let them pass right through.

I observe my unconscious human programming and feel compassion for myself and others.

Instead of running away from them, I allow my past wounds to come up to the surface.

I fully feel the trapped emotions, surrender and release them so they can permanently heal.

Life feels more gentle and more predictable from within

I remember that I am a spiritual being living in a temporary human body.

I am not my thoughts, my emotions or my conditioned responses

It makes no sense for me to cling to these or to even want to defend them

With this understanding, I remember to be patient, kind and forgiving with myself 

Especially when I fall back into the trance of duality (A,B or a mix of both)

What I truly am is a Love so pure, so powerful, so miraculous that -when allowed to shine through the layers of ego, instantly obliterates this illusion of who I think I am. Once the illusion is shattered, there no longer is a personal self. No more suffering. Only freedom, joy and deep peace.

Which one are you now?

Peace, my friends. Peace!

Lise

www.lisevilleneuve.com

Confessions of a Homeschooling Mama

Yikes! We're about to dive into our seventh year of homeschooling next week! I absolutely LOVE this lifestyle and truly believe it was one of the greatest and most empowering choices we could have made for our family.

Emma is starting grade 9 and Théo is now in grade 4. They are both receiving all their education en français. Over the years, we have developed a system that really works for us, and a wonderful support network of local friends and other homeschooling families has organically grown around us, enriching our journey along the way. Knowing where to find the best resources and educational materials has made the task of planning each academic year much less daunting.

Homeschooling allows us to integrate education as a fun and natural part of a balanced life without having to compromise our physical or emotional well-being. In our household, learning happens all the time, and it's associated with feelings of joy, passion, enthusiasm, curiosity and creativity, as opposed to stress, pressure, competition, anxiety and resistance.

I am very grateful for the flexibility we have in our schedule that allows the kids to self-regulate their moods by trusting their inner-guidance system, or emotions. Nobody can perform like a robot! Sometimes, we're just not in the right state of mind to learn anything, and that's OK. Other times, creativity flows through us like a raging river and we could write an entire play, or a song, or paint the Mona Lisa all over again. Although we do have a weekly schedule, the kids are always encouraged to follow their hearts and honour their true feelings.We make a point of spending lots of time outdoors too. The kids know more about gardening and plants than I ever did at their age.

Every day is not always smooth and perfect, because life naturally has its ups and downs. That's one of the things I love the most about homeschooling: we can take the time to allow and work through the tough emotions, the resistance and the negative thoughts when they show up, because they will, and they are welcome here. In fact, they are healthy, whereas suppressing, repressing or projecting negative thoughts and feelings are extremely unhealthy strategies, but they are often used unconsciously as coping mechanisms when there is no room for an alternative. Releasing or dealing with negativity directly is generally frowned upon or considered too "disruptive" at school or at work, so we learn to tuck it into our little box until it busts open again by the next unpredictable trigger.

In our home, there is space for imperfections and disruptions. Actually, some of the greatest learning happens when we work through our tough, uncomfortable emotions. Once these are understood, surrendered and released, magic happens. Boundaries are removed. Fears are overcome. Energy, joy and lightness return. Chez nous, holistic well-being is valued over academic perfection. Individuality and curiosity are encouraged through a curriculum that is flexible and adapted to a unique child, not a system. Compassion, mindfulness and kindness are taught and valued over popularity, or conforming to the current norm or trend.

The purpose here is not to criticize the actual education system, as it is simply a by-product of our current society and its values. We're all doing the best we can right now. I know many wonderful teachers who give their hearts and souls to their students daily. Many children thrive in schools, and as the world becomes more conscious, I believe our social structures will radically change as well. In the meantime, I am grateful to have the option to enjoy this very special time with my kids.

Simply watching the daily news is enough to see that we live in a world that values productivity and relentless hard work above joy, well-being and inner-peace; competition over sharing and cooperation; success over compassion and mindfulness; materialism over spirituality. There is hope for the future, as we are changing it this very instant with our collective thoughts and intentions. But are we aware of this? Are our children aware of the power they hold?

Here, in our humble home and school, we learn that the most effective and direct way to change the world is to start by changing ourselves first -to fully embody the changes we wish to see outside of ourselves-, as Gandhi expressed so eloquently. So each day, we learn with love, with presence, with patience and forgiveness. We learn to love and accept ourselves fully so that we may love others unconditionally. We aim to raise our level of consciousness so that the world may also become a wee bit more aware and loving. Class is never dismissed at our school of life. Thanks for reading!

P.S. I recently wrote about emotional intelligence and self-regulation in a printable document called "Dealing with Strong Negative Emotions: A Guide for Parents and Teachers." It is free to download on my website.

All the best,

Lise Villeneuve
Creator of Conscious Kids (aussi disponible en français!)
www.lisevilleneuve.com