I Wanted to Shout at Eckhart Tolle...

 Waking Up: Personal Insights From my Journey

I Wanted to Shout at Eckhart Tolle...

How are you? I recently took a break from blogging and social media because quite frankly, I felt a little drained. Facebook especially can suck the life out of me in no time. So I focused on doing things that recharged my energy, such as spending more time in nature, reading inspirational books, and I spent a lot of quality time with those guys in the picture: my family. Now I feel great, and I have some news I'd like to share with you!

This Fall, I took an online course with Eckhart Tolle. During the course, someone from Greece asked him "how can I help kids to become more conscious?" In short, he replied that the best way to teach kids about mindfulness and emotional literacy is through short stories and little activities. He went on to say that if anyone in our group had some talent for writing, this would be a wonderful project to develop for children. You can image my reaction! I wanted to shout at my computer screen to tell Eckhart "I've created that exact project already!", but unfortunately, he couldn't hear me. Bummer.

Nevertheless, hearing him say that - coupled with my frustration at not being able to share Conscious Kids with families in person anymore (Covid) - made me want to create a more tangible version of this collection of stories and activities. Currently, Conscious Kids is only available online as a downloadable file, which is fine, but I know it could be packaged in a way that is absolutely delicious for families. So, shortly after Eckhart's "pep talk", I decided to send my Conscious Kids book proposal to one American Publisher I particularly respect. Two weeks after I sent it, the Publisher got in touch with me and said that my proposal was being passed on to be reviewed by their Children's Books Editor! I was thrilled and am so eager to hear back from them.

Experts in the book industry say that authors have a 99.9% chance of being rejected by Publishers, but regardless of what happens with this particular Publisher, I am committed to moving forward with a bold new version of Conscious Kids, even if that means self-publication. I can already picture its pages filled with vivid and colourful illustrations. I think kids will really love that!

Conscious Kids would never have been possible without all the support and feedback I have received over the years from you, my community. Thank you for that. I look forward to the journey ahead, and if you'd like to share your ideas, suggestions or comments about bringing this new version of Conscious Kids to life, please do get in touch with me, I'd love to hear from you. In fact, over the next few months, I will be actively asking you for feedback about what your best version of Conscious Kids would look like. Together, I know that we will be able to make this happen for our children.

Thanks for your presence,

Lise Villeneuve

Creator of Conscious Kids

Wisdom from Eckhart Tolle in Times of Darkness

 Waking Up: Personal Insights from my Journey

Here is a highlight from this week's daily posts on the Conscious Living facebook page. Please join me on Facebook for a more interactive and personal experience.

  

October 21, 2020

Wisdom from Eckhart Tolle in Times of Darkness

I signed up for Eckhart Tolle’s most recent 8-week online course that started this week. It’s wonderful because all the sessions with him and his partner, Kim Eng, are live. I thoroughly enjoy receiving the gift of his wisdom from the comfort of my home.

I’d like to summarize, in my own words, what stood out for me during this first session with Eckhart. He explained that during collectively challenging times, such as now, two things can happen. The first and most common thing is that the rising levels of fear, anxiety, stress, anger and even nihilism in the population will likely pull most people out of a state of present awareness and drag them into a state of unconscious survival.

This unconsciousness, fueled by strong emotions and intense negative thoughts, directly affects people’s capacity to think critically and rationally. What that means is that the more unconscious and survival-oriented people become, the more likely they are to make bad choices for themselves and others. If more and more people are making fear-based choices daily, you can see how this can very rapidly degenerate into a negative spiral that will affect everyone on our planet. Darkness can quickly breed more darkness if we are not mindful.

Eckhart said the second thing that can happen during collectively difficult times is that the rising levels of discomfort, uncertainty and chaos shake us to our core and force us - or inspire us, to dive into the root causes of our suffering. This is what the awakening process is all about. Challenging times can become a golden opportunity for the consciousness that expresses itself through us to grow exponentially. In other words, life’s hardships can provide the necessary pressure to transform our darkest, densest coal into sparkling diamonds.

What do we want? Are we ready to take a good look at the coal we’ve all been carrying around for years? Are we willing to take some pressure, to bend and let go of our old, limiting ways and structures? The current conditions we are living in are perfect for this sacred alchemy to occur. The choice is ours.

Peace,

Lise ❤️

Lise Villeneuve / www.consciouslivingsolutions.com

Please join me on the Conscious Living facebook page for more personal posts not published here.

It Was All a Big Lie

-Mindfulness Bites-

It Was All a Big Lie

by Lise Villeneuve

Up until my mid-twenties, my goal in life was to fit in and chase the things or opportunities that would supposedly make me happy. Like everyone else my age, I was just trying to figure things out. It was a jungle out there. I learned by following the example of the majority. I learned things like "the right career and the right relationships will make me happy." These beliefs seemed to make perfect sense at the time, so I didn't question them. I also learned that the external world and other people had the power to make me feel angry, stressed, sad, anxious, happy, fearful...etc. I accepted this belief, not realizing that by doing so, I had given away my power to a completely unpredictable and confused world. From that moment on, my inner peace depended entirely on external circumstances. I felt increasingly anxious and disconnected.

Another belief I adopted by default was "I should avoid pain and discomfort at all costs, because these are likely to mess up my life." Nobody I knew ever talked about facing negative feelings, but if I ever wanted to drown my sorrows in beer, or get distracted with a party, shopping or a movie, I always had plenty of company. As a young ambitious student and musician, I had always been taught to focus on my future. That's where my happiness was to be found: somewhere down the road. So I waited and waited for it until I started to suspect that it was all a big lie.

From my mid-twenties to the present moment, I have been unlearning all these distorted and damaging beliefs. I have been rewriting the programming, undoing the conditioning that carved such deep grooves in my psyche. It's truly shocking to see that almost everything I believed was completely backwards. The widely accepted beliefs that promised happiness were the ones that led me straight to hell. This slow unravelling, this shedding of false beliefs is was has brought me the greatest levels of peace, well being and clarity today.

I have selected a few quotes from some of my favourite teachers. Some of these may surprise you, because they go against some of the widely accepted beliefs I was talking about. Read them with an open mind and see if they go against what you have accepted as true. Feel free to share your comments below.

Wishing you true, lasting peace

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com

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The Real Source of our Negative Emotions & Stress

"The rationalizing mind prefers to keep the true causes of emotion out of awareness and utilizes the mechanism of projection to do this. It blames events or other people for "causing" a feeling and views itself as the helpless innocent victim of external causes. "They made me angry." "He got me upset." "It scared me.""World events are the cause of my anxiety." Actually, it's the exact opposite. The suppressed and repressed feelings seek an outlet and utilize the events as triggers and excuses to vent themselves. We are like pressure-cookers ready to release steam when the opportunity arises. Our triggers are set and ready to go off. In psychiatry, this mechanism is called displacement. It is because we are angry that events "make" us angry. If, through constant surrendering, we have let go of the pent-up store of anger, it is very difficult and, in fact, even impossible for anyone of any situation to "make" us angry. The same, therefore, goes for all other negative feelings once they have been surrendered."

-David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph. D, Letting go, The Pathway of Surrender (p.17)

"There is much attention and publicity given to the subject of stress without a real understanding of its essential nature. (...) The real source of "stress" is actually internal; it is not external, as people would like to believe. The readiness to react with fear, for instance, depends on how much fear is already present within to be triggered by a stimulus. The more fear we have on the inside, the more our perception of the world is changed to a fearful, guarded expectancy. To the fearful person, this world is a terrifying place. To the angry person, this world is a chaos of frustration and vexation.(...) What we are holding inside colors our world. The basic rule is that we focus on what we have repressed. (...) Stress results from the accumulated pressure of our repressed and suppressed feelings. The pressure seeks relief, and so external events only trigger what we have been holding down, both consciously and unconsciously."

-David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph. D, Letting go, The Pathway of Surrender (p.15)

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Conflicts in Relationships

"The truth is that your partner is your mirror. He or she always reflects you back to yourself. If you think there's a flaw in him, that flaw is in you. It has to be in you, because he's nothing more than your story. You are always what you judge in him to be in the moment. There's no exception to his. You are your own suffering. You are your own happiness." 

-Byron Katie, A Mind At Home With Itself (p.238)

"When you realize that there's no such thing as a self or an other, you realize that all human relationships are reflections in the mirror. It's not you that people like or dislike; it's their stories of you. They aren't attacking you or leaving you; they're attacking or leaving who they believe you are. What does any of that have to do with you? You're their projection, just as they are yours. Realizing this makes it easy not to be affected by praise or blame.(...) If someone rejects you, he could only do that because you don't match his beliefs about how he wants the world to be. (...) If he criticizes you, and you take that personally, you're the one who hurt you. The story you impose onto his criticism is where the pain begins. You're arguing with reality, and you lose."

-Byron Katie, A Mind At Home With Itself (p.153)

"Peace doesn't require two people; it requires only one. It has to be you. The problem begins and ends there."

-Byron Katie, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

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Avoiding Discomfort and Painful Feelings

"We have tried everything to get rid of suffering. We have gone everywhere to get rid of suffering. We have bought everything to get rid of it. We have ingested everything to get rid of it. Finally, when one has tried enough, there arises the possibility of spiritual maturity with the willingness to stop the futile attempt to get rid of it and, instead, to actually experience suffering. In that momentous instant, there is the realization of that which is beyond suffering, of that which is untouched by suffering.. There is the realization of who one truly is. "

-Gangaji

"We think that the point is to pass the test or overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don't really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It's just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy."

-Pema Chödron, When Things Fall Apart: Heartfelt Advice for Hard Times

"And so, there's the ebb and flow. If you are at this one point of the cycle, there's no use in crying about it because the cycle will cycle itself out. By surrendering to whatever is cycling up, it eventually disappears. You disappear it by choosing to be one with it and refusing to want to change it as it arises. Do this continuously, no matter what, nonstop."

-David R. Hawkins, M.D., Ph.D., Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender

"Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know."

-Pema Chödron, Comfortable with Uncertainty

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Finding Peace

"As soon as you honor the present moment, all unhappiness and struggle dissolve. and life begins to flow with joy and ease. When you act out the present-moment awareness, whatever you do becomes imbued with a sense of quality, care, and love - even the most simple action."

-Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now

"The primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but thoughts about it. Be aware of the thoughts you are thinking. Separate them from the situation, which is always neutral. It is as it is."

-Eckhart Tolle

"When you believe a thought that argues with reality, you're confused"

-Byron Katie, A Mind At Home With Itself 

"Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment."

-Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

My Darkest Time Revealed in a Magazine!

I never would have thought in a million years that one day, I'd be sharing what turned out to be the darkest period in my life with the world - in a magazine recently published in India! Life is funny that way, and I don't regret a second of it!

Click on the link below to read the article. Special thanks to Suzy Singh.

https://www.lifepositive.com/the-wounded-healer/

Love,

Lise Villeneuve

Creator of Conscious Kids and Conscious Health

Free printable mindfulness cards

My Obsession Finally Revealed!

Before we moved to Edmonton -almost four years ago- we lived in a small apartment in Montreal and I had never gardened in my life. I was a city girl and I knew absolutely nothing about gardening. I didn't know what I was missing.

Now that I've been gardening for almost 4 years, I can't imagine a life without it! I find gardening to be the most grounding (pardon the pun), calming, nurturing and creative activity! I love growing our own food, it tastes SO much better than what you find at the store. And the best part is that you don't even need that much space to grow plants -just a few pots can do the trick. Any other gardening enthusiasts out there? I thought I'd share a little bit about our gardening adventures this summer through some pictures.

Not only did we have our "regular garden" in the yard this year, but the kids each designed and planted their own gardens on the outside of our fence. I was amazed at their enthusiasm right from the start. They didn't mind digging out the grass even though it was a pretty big job.

Here is the vegetable garden inside the yard in May:

Vegetable garden in August:

Here are the kids' gardens outside of the yard (May and August):

I was surprised by how much the people in our neighbourhood loved the kids' gardens (that are in full view). Some mystery donor left us 4 lovely tomato plants. Two ladies came by with their chairs and started sketching the sunflowers. We called the police. Just kidding. Everyone who walks by comments on how well everything is growing. I love how the morning glories made a wall of leaves and gorgeous flowers all around the garden!

Somehow, the corn seeds I saw at the Dollar Store used their mind control powers to convince me to plant a corn maze on the outside of our fence. It's now getting tall enough for us to hide in it. Soon we'll be able to jump out and scare the heck out of unsuspecting neighbours walking by. I can also go there and curl up in a ball whenever I need a break from the kids -or not.

The weather has been absolutely perfect for the plants this summer -very hot, with a lot of rain. 

Here's Emma in her own personal jungle.

Needless to say, we have a LOT of food this year and just recently I've given myself a crash course on canning, freezing and drying the harvest. Yup, we bought a deep freeze and a water-boiling canner so were are SET for the apocalypse!

 Don't ask why Precious the cat is out there is her pj's.

I had a lot of fun painting these cement blocks one day, when it was about 400 degrees. There's Mitsy who jumped into the picture. She's a kitten we found back in April -the absolute sweetest kitten in the world! Precious (pj cat) hates her, she's SO jealous.

And here is the perfect ending to this gardening love story: delicious homemade goodies (hopefully!) that will last all the way through the winter months. I'm crossing my fingers we don't die from botulism.

We had to make some room for the jars so we pulled up this shelf from the basement. We may need a bigger house once the 15 tomato plants and gazillions of ground cherries ripen! I see a lot of salsa and jam in our future.

So there you have it. That's what I've been up to lately. Now for the philosophical part. You ready? It's deep, oh-so deep. I realised that I went from being a city girl to becoming a city farmer. Yup, it may not sound glamorous, but I'm a conscious farmer and I love it! I'm quite obsessed by gardening, actually. I admit it.

Planting seeds, tending to the garden, harvesting and canning are all wonderful opportunities to be fully in the moment and gently aware of all the mental chatter that may be going on inside. I look forward to practising mindful eating. Thanks for reading! What are some of your favourite grounding / calming activities?

Lise Villeneuve

Creator of Conscious Kids -an online mindfulness course for families

www.lisevilleneuve.com

Are You As Spiritual As You Really Think?

Are You As Spiritual As You Really Think?

I’d like to ask you an important question. Let’s see if you’ll pick answer A or B. Ready? Here it is: Who are you?

A)    I’m a physical being having a temporary experience in a physical world. 

Once my body dies, I stop existing.

B)    I’m a spiritual being having a temporary experience in a human body. I am eternal.

If you picked A, you derive your sense of identity from your body, your mind and your emotions. You see everything and everyone as separate from yourself. You are mainly driven by your mind and you feel the need to constantly look out for yourself and your kin to ensure your survival. You see the world as a competitive place where there is no room for miracles, or divine guidance.

If you picked B, you fully trust in a divine plan. You don’t see yourself as a separate, limited body and mind, but as an unlimited, powerful spiritual being that’s connected to all of creation. You are driven by your heart and you see life as an opportunity for your soul to experience joy, peace, healing and unconditional love. You honour the present moment and are able to surrender to what is.

So which one did you pick? A or B?

You may not consciously think “Who am I?” on a daily basis, but the truth is, the way you answered this question orients your entire life. An “A-type” will experience the world in a radically different way than a “B-type”. For example, if I ask you What is your purpose in life? What is real happiness? and What causes suffering? your answers will be completely different depending on who you believe yourself to be. Which type do you think will experience the most fulfilling life?

It doesn’t even really matter who’s right in the end, A or B, because we know that our thoughts and beliefs shape our reality. But before you pat yourself on the back for being a “B-type”, it’s important to recognize that the vast majority of humans today still adopt the behaviours of A’s: me versus you, ego versus heart, fear versus love and trust, separation versus unity, lack versus abundance, control versus surrender, past/future versus present.  Even individuals who see themselves as spiritual beings in a physical world fall back into the traps of the ego daily.

Why? Because our conditioning is so very strong, and we live in an ego-driven, unconscious world. Individuality and competitiveness are rewarded and the idea that who we are is our limited, physical vessel is constantly reinforced. Success is measured by wealth, power, status and influence, often at the cost of true happiness. The overwhelming influence of this physical, material world constantly distracts us from our spiritual essence. It seduces us into believing that we have something to gain from adopting the “A-type” behaviours of the majority. Unless we make a conscious effort to constantly stay awake and present, we will automatically fall back into the default sleepwalking ego-mode.

Spiritual awareness is like a muscle we have to train on a daily basis. There is no other way around it. It may sound like a chore, but once you start experiencing the benefits of a heart-centered, more conscious life, you will wonder why you didn’t start your training earlier!

If you’d like some tools and resources to help you with your spiritual awareness training, I encourage you to check out Conscious Health –for adults and Conscious Kids –for young families. These two programs are currently available at no charge (for a limited time only).

Wishing you all the best,

Lise Villeneuve

www.lisevilleneuve.com

www.conscious-kids.ca

What In The World Are We Teaching Our Kids?

This is my daughter Emma when she was 4. Today, she’s 11. She has good days and bad days. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed being a mom. If you have kids, I’m sure you can relate! Our children are growing up in a complex world, to say the least.

I often ask myself how I can help Emma feel secure in a world filled with daily unpredictable atrocities? How can I help her to feel grounded in a materialistic world that rewards spending time on electronic devices and in shopping malls more than playing outside? How can I help her to feel joyful and relaxed in a world that rewards productivity and performance at any cost? How can I help Emma to be loving and compassionate towards others in a world that encourages competition, power struggles and the survival of the fittest? How can I help her to feel energized and balanced in a world that has lost touch with what real food is and encourages her to take a pill to fix the symptoms of disease! How can I best prepare her for the future in a world that preaches the benefits of knowledge and education, but fails to ask these fundamental questions: Who am I? Why am I here? What’s my purpose? Was I meant to suffer or can I be happy? What is true happiness? How can I find lasting joy and peace in this complex world?

As parents, we go out of our way to sign up our kids for soccer, swimming, dancing, drama, music...which are all great, but let’s face it, something fundamental is still missing in their lives. Are we teaching them how to fit into the system so they can “win” at this game of life, or are we helping them to figure out how to be truly happy? Do we know how to be truly happy ourselves? What kind of example are we setting for them?

What I want for Emma is for her to be able to think outside the box. I want her to see beyond the illusions of this fearful world she was born into. I hope to raise her awareness so that she’s able to stop creating more suffering for herself and others and instead, she can concentrate on healing our planet. I want to teach her how to tap into her inner-wisdom. Ultimately, I want her to remember that her happiness comes from within. She’s not a victim of her circumstances. Neither are you, nor your children. But to change our perception of the world, we first have to change the perception of who we think we are. It’s time to awaken!

I wrote Conscious Kids (online mindfulness lessons) for Emma. It won’t change the world, but it’s a small step in the right direction. If you’d like to receive the weekly mindfulness lessons, you can sign up here (deadline is Feb 1^st, 2016): http://www.lisevilleneuve.com/#!consciouskids/ckgl

Blessings,

Lise

www.lisevilleneuve.com

I Have Some Exciting News!!!

Photo Credit

In one of my previous posts, I was explaining how I wished to feature "Awakeners" on my website, from the novice to the expert. I wrote "If you're Eckhart Tolle, Michael A. Singer, Oprah or Eliza Mada Dalian, you can participate too, because you already understand the importance of supporting and encouraging the flowering of human consciousness on a global level."

You can imagine how THRILLED I was to feature best-selling, award-winning author Eliza Mada Dalian as an Awakener on our website just a few weeks after having written those words! Today, I walked to the post office with my daughter Emma and mailed my first letter to Eckhart Tolle. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! I also wrote to Michael A. Singer today, since I received his new book in the mail yesterday The Surrender Experiment and I am in AWE of the way he has been living his life. Yes, I'm almost done reading the book already! That leaves Oprah, and I think I'm going to let life orchestrate that synchronicty, if it's meant to be someday.

The beautiful thing about these spiritual teachers / Masters is that they have risen above the ego. They don't see themselves as superior to others, despite the international success and recognition they have achieved. They express a genuine willingness to help others and they make the time, even though they are extremely busy. They understand and truly live the concept of Oneness. I am extremely grateful for their presence and generosity, and I'm excited to say that I will be featuring quite a few more of these Master Awakeners! Spoiler alert: stay tuned for the very gracious Dr. Richard Moss!

I'm very aware that my own ego could easily get inflated from featuring such Gems! I am keeping a watchful eye on it, and so far so good! My intentions are to do whatever I can to accelerate the awakening of the masses. By presenting such beautiful, successful, enlightened role-models, perhaps others will want to join the consciousness party!

As I was writing to Eckhart Tolle, inspiration was pouring through me and something quite unexpected happened. A completely new initiative spontaneously took form. I was inspired to create a space on our website that allows anyone to anonymously ask questions about living a more conscious life. And who will answer these questions? Spiritual teachers and Masters such as Eckhart Tolle and many others! How do I know the questions will eventually get answered by the right people? Because I trust that when the student is ready, the teacher appears!

Do you have any questions / challenges that have to do with raising your level of consciousness? Don't be shy, you can anonymously ask them right here! I trust that the perfect answers will arrive at the perfect moment!

Warmly,

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Are You an "Awakener"? Time To Come Out Of The Closet...

Photo Credit

POUR PARTICIPER EN FRANCAIS

-What exactly is an Awakener, you wonder?

An awakener is someone who is growing in spiritual awareness, who is becoming more conscious of his / her true essence beyond the ego. Awakeners understand the importance of becoming more present and still, and their growing awareness positively influences everyone they come into contact with (whether they know it or not). They inspire others to also awaken from the illusion of this physical world so that they may experience true freedom, peace, joy and love. Does this sound like you or someone you know?

-Awakeners, I'd love to feature you on my website!

Whether you are a novice or expert Awakener, I'd love to ask you a few quick questions and feature you on my website. Don't let your ego talk you out of it ("not me, I'm not advanced enough", or, "I'm too advanced for this kind of thing!") Chances are, if you're reading this right now, you have at least been flirting with the notion of awareness, and that qualifies you! And... if you're Eckhart Tolle, Michael A. Singer, Oprah or Eliza Mada Dalian, you can participate too, because you already understand the importance of supporting and encouraging the flowering of human consciousness on a global level. 

-What's my goal?

My goal is to feature as many Awakeners as possible to demonstrate and celebrate the huge impact their individual actions are making on our planet. I would like to help accelerate the awakening process by inviting all the newly emerging Awakeners to "come out of the closet"! It is my hope that those who are not yet familiar with consciousness -the friends, family members, colleagues of the Awakeners featured on my website -will be inspired by them. There is power in numbers, and I am eager to spotlight individuals who understand that by improving our inner-world, we directly improve the state of our planet.

-So you're interested in being featured as an Awakener. What do you have to do exactly?

It's very simple, and faster than you may think! Give yourself 15 minutes to spontaneously answer these questions (email your answers to me)

1. What's your name and where do you currently live? (1 line)

2. What does consciousness mean to you and how does it affect your everyday life? (2-3 lines)

3. What put you on the "consciousness path"? (4-5 lines)

4. In what way(s) do you help others become a little more awakened each day? (5-7 lines)

5. What's the most important / profound realization you've learned so far on your spiritual path towards increased awareness? (3-4 lines)

6. Are there one or two books you'd like to recommend to anyone on a spiritual journey?

7. Where can we learn more about you / what you do? (website...etc)

8. Anything else you'd like to share?

9. Please attach a picture of yourself and send your answers to consciouslivingsolutions (@) gmail. com

Thank you! Every single reply I receive is like a gift from the Universe. Remember to share this with anyone you consider to be an Awakener.

If you'd like to see what a featured awakener interview looks like, click here.

For more information, click here

Warmly,

Lise Villeneuve

Health Coach / Reiki Master

www.lisevilleneuve.com

20 Signs That You Are Living in The Now

Thanks to Eckhart Tolle, we've all heard about the importance of living in the Now, but how many of us are actually able to fully stay present for most of our day? (besides cats and children!) I sure wasn't, even though I really grasped the concept mentally. How about you?

Lately, I find that I'm increasingly able to bring myself back to the Now for longer and longer periods, and I have to say that the feelings of well-being and empowerment that arise from being really present are pushing me to change the way I live even more. It's a little scary, I have to admit, because it essentially means nothing less than letting go of thousands of years' worth of collective conditioning, beliefs and socially approved behaviours that are all ego-driven. Nevertheless, I believe the time has come for us to make this quantum leap, we are ready. You are ready.

Having studied psychology, spirituality and holistic well-being for decades now, I am more convinced than ever that presence is the magic key we all seek. Fully entering and surrendering to the present moment is THE most important thing we can learn to free ourselves of our suffering and to experience true, lasting peace and joy. The beauty is that anyone can learn this, no matter what their past or future hold.

Living in the Now is such a simple concept, yet so very challenging, especially when our egos get in the way. We can certainly keep living our lives the old way, through identification with our ego, our personality, our image, our reputation, our separation from others, our story, but the price tag attached to this way of life is inevitably unhappiness and suffering.

Those of us who have suffered enough will gradually shift to a more enlightened way of life. But it requires courage, guts, effort and patience with yourself. You will be swimming against the very strong current of the majority. Sometimes you will get carried away in the waves, but you will always have another chance to turn around and swim towards that beautiful, peaceful island. Are you living in the now?

Here are 20 signs that you are shifting from an ego-based life towards living in a more awakened state in the Now:

1-You notice the voice in your head. You observe it with compassion and gradually, it gets quieter
2-You catch yourself thinking about the past or the future and you gently come back to the present
3-You forgive yourself when you get triggered and reactive, and you try again next time
4-You become more in tune with sensations in your body (emotions, discomfort, stress, hunger)
5-You notice your emotions and are able to release them without adding more mental noise to them
6-You accept what the moment brings you, even if that means resistance. You notice the resistance
7-You are less concerned with "doing" and more accepting of just "being"
8-You don't feel the need to talk as much, you become a better listener
9-Your personality, image, reputation and personal opinions become secondary
10-You don't need to be right all the time
11-You become more spontaneous and creative, you don't need to plan as much
12-You allow yourself to be curious, the world becomes your playground
13-You start to notice the aliveness all around you and it brings you lightness and joy
14-You give yourself permission to play and laugh
15-You feel drawn to nature, you increasingly enjoy silence and stillness
16-You become more loving, less judgemental towards yourself and others
17-You want to connect with others who understand the idea of Oneness
18-You become ok with your human ordinariness because you know you are a spiritual being
19-Your goals and ambitions change, you are drawn to things that bring you purpose and meaning
20-You see yourself as an extension of consciousness, not just your physical body and mind

Did I forget to mention any other important signs that demonstrate a growing presence? Don't be shy, add them to the comments below.

Warmly,

Lise Villeneuve
Creator of Conscious Kids and Conscious Health (try it for FREE!)
www.lisevilleneuve.com

"No, I Won't Pick Up My Toys!"

As I sit down to write this blog, I hear the loud, whining moan of a siren coming from my son's fire truck a few feet away from me. Ah, yes, the perfect soundtrack for inspiration! I guess I am blessed, once again, with an opportunity to practice non-resistance of what is. Our children are really little gurus in disguise, even though it's hard to admit it at times.

We only react negatively towards our children (or anyone) when we fall into unconsciousness ourselves. When we realize that the unconscious behaviours of others is what triggers our own unconsciousness, then we can stop taking things so personally. "He did this to push my buttons, she did something unforgivable, unacceptable." Awareness allows us to see things in a more neutral perspective, as an observer who is not as personally invested in the challenging situation.

For example, if I ask Théo to pick up his toys and he starts to shout "no, I won't pick up my toys!", my ego might immediately feel threatened and think "how dare this little boy question my authority? I am the parent, I am in control and if my child doesn't do exactly as I say, I am failing as a mother." These unconscious thoughts might cause me to start feeling powerless and angry, and instead of keeping my cool and explaining calmly to Théo what the consequence of his actions would be (such as taking the toys away for a certain time if they are not picked up), I might fall further into unconsciousness myself. I could start yelling, or I might decide to withdraw from the situation completely, ignoring his defiant behaviour and therefore reinforcing a disobedient attitude next time.

For the record, Théo is still playing nicely at the moment, his temper tantrum was just a fictional example. He would NOT be happy with me spreading rumours about him on Blogger like that! ;)

Parenting is hard! I mean, our kids challenge us constantly, and we usually have a split second to react. It's obviously much easier to just get angry than to stop, breathe and think "the unconsciouness in my child is triggering my own unconsciousness. Can I stay calm and objective in this situation without feeling threatened, insulted, hurt or disappointed by my child? If my child was fully conscious, he / she probably wouldn't be acting this way. Can I help him / her navigate through these feelings without taking things personally as a parent?" Yeah, that just doesn't come naturally most of the time! Eckhart Tolle never had children, either. ;)

We can`t expect ourselves to always have this awareness, but we can certainly keep practising every day and pat ourselves on the back when we DO succeed. Do you have an example of a challenging situation with someone where you were able to stay fully present and aware? What happened?

Have a great weekend!

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com

"Mom, You Are Waking Up My Pain-Body!"

Something pretty cool happened this morning, but first, let me back up a little. Yesterday, as the kids and I were enjoying lunch, I was telling them about the realization I had this week. I wrote about it in my previous blog (Help! What Is Happening To Me?). In short, I told the kids that I was in a horrible mood for a few days but couldn't really put a finger on the exact cause. Well, this mood of mine turned out to be quite a lesson for all of us!

I explained to them that our thoughts create our emotions, so generally, when we start to feel bad, we can ask ourselves what thoughts may have created these negative emotions. Of course, the majority of our thoughts are involuntary and unconscious, which makes this exercise challenging at times. In my case, my dark mood just seemed to come out of nowhere, and being in that negative state of mind almost felt addictive and pleasurable. Emma said "Yes, I feel that way too sometimes when I'm in a bad mood. I kind of like it and I don't want to stop it." I then added "You're right, and I think I figured out why negativity, complaining and resistance have this addictive, pleasurable quality to them, which make them feel almost normal and beneficial to us." Why, mom?

Because they strengthen our ego. It's a tricky thing to explain the ego to children, but I basically told them that the ego is not the "real you". The real you is your spirit, and the ego includes your thoughts, your emotions, your physical body, your reactions and your opinions. I said "you see this cup? You can look at it, touch it, smell it, right? You are observing the cup, but you are not the cup." It's kind of the same thing with your thoughts, emotions and reactions. You can observe them, feel them, acknowledge them, but they are not the real you. The ego wants to make you believe that the real you IS those things, but that's an illusion! The real you is the awareness behind these things that are "happening" in your life, in your body, in your mind.

Why does the ego trick us like this? Because it's basically a big scaredy-cat! It's afraid of not being important enough, it's afraid of being alone. The ego believes it's separate from everything, but your true self knows that it's connected to everyone and everything. So, when we are negative, when we complain, it feels good to our ego because we tell it how "right" it is and how separate we are from everyone / everything else. In reality, we've just been punked by our ego!

Where am I going with this? Well, keeping our negative thoughts in check and focusing on positive ones instead is certainly a step in the right direction, but this still feeds our ego! Why? Because we are still identified with our thoughts! We are still deriving our sense of identity from our mind, instead of being the witness of our thoughts. And? We'll, that's fine, but it will inevitably create suffering for us. For as long as we identify with our ego (i.e, we take things very personally as opposed to witnessing them from a higher, more neutral perspective), we will keep feeding that inner-field of energy that holds all our suppressed pain and negative emotions. Yup, I'm talking about the "pain-body."

No matter how positive you are, if your sense of self is ego-based, your pain-body will eventually wake up from its dormant stage and feed on the negativity your ego craves! The pain-body is like a hungry monster hiding inside each one of us. Once he comes out, he can be very hard to control. He makes us feel angry, he makes us say and do things we regret sometimes, he makes us believe we "are" it. But we know better now, don't we? We are not our thoughts, our emotions and our reactions, we are the witness behind these. All we can do when the monster comes is to be as present as possible and let the emotions pass without fuelling them with more negative thoughts. Emma said this sounded "really freaky". She's right!

And now for the more entertaining part of this story. This morning, Theo (5) came into my room and started to get angry about something he wanted immediately. I told him he was going to have to be a little more patient, then he started threatening to hit me, he started taking some of my things and even shouted. Before I even said a word, he paused, looking reflexive. I said "what?". He replied "you remember what we talked about yesterday at lunch?" Yes, I said. He continued with "you are waking up my pain-body!" I was amazed! I congratulated him for noticing that. "You felt it in your body, didn't you, and you noticed it! Good for you!" And just like that, the mood stopped! I have to say, my ego felt validated!

However, about 20 minutes later, the monster came back...with a vengeance! Theo was now yelling, kicking, he was furious because his sister accepted to do the job he had refused. I know that it's during these times that we especially need to be present with our kids. Putting them in a time-out is like saying "shut up, what you are feeling is not important, your tantrum is inconvenient for me right now." Instead, it's our job to help them navigate their feelings and to show them appropriate ways to express their overwhelming emotions. The truth is, all emotions are acceptable, they are a part of being human, and when they are not allowed to be expressed, they remain in the body and eventually create neurosis and illness.

Theo is very aware that hitting is not acceptable. He knows the immediate consequence for hitting (he loses money from his earnings jar), and when he does, I simply say "you know hitting is not acceptable" and I take the money away without getting emotional, angry or reactive. I try to remain as present as possible. As long as he is not doing something inappropriate or harmful, I let him express his anger, and I try to validate his point of view. "When Emma decided to do the job you refused to do, that made you very angry, didn't it?" This usually helps to calm him down. I also remind him that it's ok to feel the way he does, and that soon, he will feel better. I tell him that I love him and that I want to help him feel good again. The rest is all about being fully present, non-reactive and patient. I remind myself not to take this tantrum personally. Theo calmed down, came and sat on me, I gave him some cuddles, and the storm was over. The pain-body expressed itself and then went back into its dormant stage once again. Thank you, Life, for giving us these intense "Pain-Body 101" lessons! Until the next time!

Warmly,

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Help! What Is Happening To Me? (Part 2)

If you missed part 1 of this story, you can catch up here: http://lisevilleneuve.blogspot.ca/2015/03/help-what-is-happening-to-me.html

Once upon a time, not so long ago, this horrible, sudden, unexplainable mood fell over me. All I knew for sure was that this negativity was coming from a deep, dark, unconscious place. I desperately wanted to understand it, rise above it and feel "normal" again. So, I combined the knowledge and information that I had about resistance, negative thoughts, negative emotions, the ego and the pain-body (Eckhart Tolle) to make sense of it all. This is what I came up with...

Essentially, I was unsuspectingly abducted by my hungry pain-body. Lol. What that means is that all the negative, painful emotions that I suppressed or denied since childhood decided to pay me a little visit. The purpose of the visit was to "feed itself" off my negativity, by hijacking my brain and making it produce more compulsive, negative thoughts. You don't believe me? Just ask Eckhart Tolle! The pain-body is essentially created by a false sense of self (the ego). It has to "feed" every so often to sustain itself. This energy field of residual pain has triggers from the past that wake it from its dormant stage. It then becomes a highly charged and reactive seeker of unhappiness. It's almost like a psychic parasite that makes its host believe they are the ones needing the negativity and the drama. Sounds like sci-fi, doesn't it?

The reason why hanging on to my dark mood felt somehow pleasurable now makes sense. The negativity was misperceived by my ego as pleasure, because it was actually strengthening itself in the process. When we complain, resist, blame and resent, we reinforce the illusion of separation, of "the other", and we defend and justify our "rightness". For some reason, we believe that our negativity will somehow help us get what we want faster. Actually, it will do the exact opposite, it will give us more of what we don't want! Why? Because we get what we focus on, period.

So no wonder I had trouble identifying the exact source of this malaise that seemed to come out of the blue. I had long forgotten about the pain-body! I was relieved to read the following:

"When you feel the pain-body, don't fall into the error of thinking there is something wrong with you. Making yourself into a problem -the ego loves that. The knowing needs to be followed by accepting. Anything else will obscure it again. Accepting means you allow yourself to fell whatever it is you are feeling at that moment. It is part of the is-ness of the Now. You can't argue with what is. Well, you can, but if you do, you suffer." -Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

I guess this time I was not present enough to notice the pain-body's coup d'état. Darn it. I've gotten pretty good at tuning in to my body to detect the presence of negative thoughts and emotions, and I'm fully aware of the ego's tactics (holding everyone and everything else responsible for my own pain). The next step I hope to master is the disidentification from my thoughts, emotions and reactions. In other words, can I learn to be the awareness, the conscious presence that simply witnesses the thoughts, emotions and reactions without deriving my sense of self from them? Until then, I will continue to practice positive thinking!

Can you think of a time when your pain-body suddenly became active and fed on the negativity and drama in your life?

Warmly,

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com

My Confession...

I received this quote by Eckhart Tolle in my inbox today. As usual, the timing of these words of wisdom was perfect. Lately I've been thinking about my new "role" as a  health coach and I have to confess, I've been feeling some pressure and apprehension. I feel like I have to disclose the following: "Yes, I'm a health coach but no, I'm not perfect!" Of course I'm sure most people realize that my life cannot be perfect all the time, but writing it helps me break free from some of the expectations I may have unfairly put onto myself. I've also been experiencing different situations with clients that made me think about my "role" and the appropriate ways a health coach should or shouldn't act. I didn't like the energy this neurotic thinking was requiring.

You see, the Institute for Integrative Nutrition gave us some clear guidelines about being professional and ethical, not crossing certain boundaries with clients, walking our talk, always being positive, dressing professionally...etc. All these notions make perfect sense to me, yet I don't want these guidelines to create a wall between me and the people I genuinely want to help. I don't want a bunch of mental concepts to guide and restrict my behaviour. That's just too heavy and it doesn't feel authentic.

But it's tricky. As much as we may not want to adopt any role, we all end up playing them. We become the mother, the father, the friend, the lover, the business person, the employee, the client...etc. Why do we do this? To protect ourselves, to set boundaries, to be in control. 

The only way to not fall into a role is to distance ourselves from our thoughts, beliefs, memories, reactions and expectations. In other words, it's only when we become fully conscious and present that we are able to drop all the roles and truly be our higher Selves. Therefore when I view myself as "the health coach", I am identifying with my thoughts and beliefs about health coaches, I am deriving my identity from a mental construct, and I'm not being truly authentic. Thank you Eckhart for this insight. I'm going to mentally burn the "perfect health coach handbook" and I will try to deal with each situation with a beginners' mind, as it arises. Ah, things feel lighter already.

Eckhart Tolle's partner, Kim Eng, was asked what it was like to be in a relationship with an enlightened being. This is what she wrote:

"As long as I have the idea in my head “I have a relationship” or “I am in a relationship,” no matter with whom, I suffer. This I have learnt. With the concept of “relationship” come expectations, memories of past relationships, and further personally and culturally conditioned mental concepts of what a “relationship” should be like. Then I would try to make reality conform to these concepts. And it never does. And again I suffer. The fact of the matter is: there are no relationships. There is only the present moment, and in the moment there is only relating. How we relate, or rather how well we love, depends on how empty we are of ideas, concepts, expectations."

I don't want to build a professional relationship with clients that's pre-defined by my mental concepts and expectations. What I really want is to relate to another human being in the present moment. That frees both me and the client from the roles that were assigned to us, thus allowing the occurrence of a truly authentic human interaction.

Warmly,

Lise

www.lisevilleneuve.com

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