Saturday, June 27, 2015

20 Signs That You Are Living in The Now

Thanks to Eckhart Tolle, we've all heard about the importance of living in the Now, but how many of us are actually able to fully stay present for most of our day? (besides cats and children!) I sure wasn't, even though I really grasped the concept mentally. How about you?

Lately, I find that I'm increasingly able to bring myself back to the Now for longer and longer periods, and I have to say that the feelings of well-being and empowerment that arise from being really present are pushing me to change the way I live even more. It's a little scary, I have to admit, because it essentially means nothing less than letting go of thousands of years' worth of collective conditioning, beliefs and socially approved behaviours that are all ego-driven. Nevertheless, I believe the time has come for us to make this quantum leap, we are ready. You are ready.

Having studied psychology, spirituality and holistic well-being for decades now, I am more convinced than ever that presence is the magic key we all seek. Fully entering and surrendering to the present moment is THE most important thing we can learn to free ourselves of our suffering and to experience true, lasting peace and joy. The beauty is that anyone can learn this, no matter what their past or future hold.

Living in the Now is such a simple concept, yet so very challenging, especially when our egos get in the way. We can certainly keep living our lives the old way, through identification with our ego, our personality, our image, our reputation, our separation from others, our story, but the price tag attached to this way of life is inevitably unhappiness and suffering.

Those of us who have suffered enough will gradually shift to a more enlightened way of life. But it requires courage, guts, effort and patience with yourself. You will be swimming against the very strong current of the majority. Sometimes you will get carried away in the waves, but you will always have another chance to turn around and swim towards that beautiful, peaceful island. Are you living in the now?

Here are 20 signs that you are shifting from an ego-based life towards living in a more awakened state in the Now:

1-You notice the voice in your head. You observe it with compassion and gradually, it gets quieter
2-You catch yourself thinking about the past or the future and you gently come back to the present
3-You forgive yourself when you get triggered and reactive, and you try again next time
4-You become more in tune with sensations in your body (emotions, discomfort, stress, hunger)
5-You notice your emotions and are able to release them without adding more mental noise to them
6-You accept what the moment brings you, even if that means resistance. You notice the resistance
7-You are less concerned with "doing" and more accepting of just "being"
8-You don't feel the need to talk as much, you become a better listener
9-Your personality, image, reputation and personal opinions become secondary
10-You don't need to be right all the time
11-You become more spontaneous and creative, you don't need to plan as much
12-You allow yourself to be curious, the world becomes your playground
13-You start to notice the aliveness all around you and it brings you lightness and joy
14-You give yourself permission to play and laugh
15-You feel drawn to nature, you increasingly enjoy silence and stillness
16-You become more loving, less judgemental towards yourself and others
17-You want to connect with others who understand the idea of Oneness
18-You become ok with your human ordinariness because you know you are a spiritual being
19-Your goals and ambitions change, you are drawn to things that bring you purpose and meaning
20-You see yourself as an extension of consciousness, not just your physical body and mind

Did I forget to mention any other important signs that demonstrate a growing presence? Don't be shy, add them to the comments below.

Warmly,

Lise Villeneuve
Creator of Conscious Kids and Conscious Health (try it for FREE!)
www.lisevilleneuve.com


Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Hitting Rock Bottom. Can You Relate?


I received this beautifully candid letter today (below). The author intended to share it with you on this blog. He's been going through some intensely difficult times and he had the courage to openly write about his experience and perspective. 

Writing is always extremely therapeutic, and it has the double benefit of creating connections -connections with people who are going through similar challenges and also connections with people who are able to offer words of support. 

What's amazing is that even if we never meet, or never even become aware of each other's existence, we are still all deeply connected to each other! Each of our individual perspectives alter our collective human experience. You may not know it, but the story below has already affected you on some profound level, and your personal story is also affecting others right now. Why? Because ultimately, we are all the One Consciousness, not just our individual bodies and stories. By relating to someone else's story, by sending them a thought of compassion, by understanding their pain and acknowledging that you too, have felt these emotions, you are actually nurturing your own self-love.

I leave you now with this brave tale filled with heartbreak, despair and hope. I know that you reading this story means the beginning of a new chapter for the author. May this inspire you to reflect upon your own story and empower you to rewrite your next chapter according to your heart's desires. You hold the pen!

Warmly,

Lise

*******************************************************
Since I can remember, it's been a struggle. Life was never the easiest when young, one of seven but so much younger than my other siblings, an empty house cold and unwelcoming, mother caring but burnt out, father hostile, a definite mistake on the human landscape as far as he was concerned. One that I paid for without realizing that my life was different from the other kids.

Growing up was an isolated experience. I did have great difficulty integrating with other kids and spent most of my time alone, harassed, maligned and bullied by it seemed everyone. I can clearly remember being afraid for most of my childhood, when high school came along it was to get even worse! It's only 4 years or so and so much was to change?

The age of 14 onwards was a turning point. Made some friends, avoided those I feared and got on with life. Leaving home was right up there in the to do list. Sports came as a surprise to me, I began martial arts and developed to the age of 16 into another guy entirely, knew my goals, had a plan.

Found a job locally in a garage, left home, began to really work at this thing called life, three jobs and money in my pocket, still alone, a little bit scared of the female form, unable to socialize in a way that mattered, needed to work at that. I began working nightclubs, doing my day job and working on the black for extra money. Life was good but still missing love.

Then by chance I became popular, gods knows why. I met some lovely ladies and in particular met one special person. Life was definitely changing, sex was fabulous, what had I been doing all this time without it! I was hooked on sex, women and lust, what a wonderful world we live in.

From the age 21 I was married, life was good, but not for long. Within 8 years its seemed I had attached a lot of responsibility to my life which was very uncomfortable, I realized this was not for me, old married life perceptions haunted me, mortgages, debts, kids, I would be my father ! NO WAY angry annoyed and bitter. Marriage over by unanimous default, loved that girl but could not live with her a pattern for the future ! If only I knew then what I know now.

Work filled my life, some highs, some lows. I was self employed, loved the independence and no complaints. As I grew older, sports were important, work was important and relationships were what I lived for. I loved too much? gave too much and left nothing for myself. Anything to avoid being lonely and alone. I had fabulous relationships, lovely girls, some more so on the outside than the inside, found love and lost it many times.

But still I felt insecure amongst others, uncomfortable and awkward. What's wrong with me? Little did I know that one day I would write this retrospective of myself.

I moved abroad, took my darling wife with me, seeking a new life for us in the sun. Had to leave my home, depressing, stuck and dead ended in an economy that was busted, business struggling, becoming very depressed with the position I was in.

I feared the move to end my self-employed life and the cutting of my arms and legs feeling it gave me. For some years my wife had been depressed deeply at times, she affected me down to the core, no amount of money, travel or material things helped, but she wanted sun at any price. I agreed so we left and headed to the Mediterranean. I worked my butt off contracting and missed my wife, my evenings, my weekends, my life! My self-esteem withered, worked in an industry of people whom I had nothing in common, made the best of it and suffered in silence. A nervous breakdown I think it's called. I knew I was losing everything in my life but what to do? Keep working, make money and get out of this game as soon as possible. Some plan,my spouse loved her life. A little lonely she said, but she had my fabulous dog and a few new friends?

Problem was what's next? I am 50 something and did not wish to spend years away from home as a lifestyle, nervous breakdown, stress and no help from my now very happy wife. She had money, no ties, a beautiful house, fancy car and men in her life with whom she could have fun. And I — was paying for it. This job was killing me, I had no sport, just pressure and a hole in my heart. I lost 22 kilos in weight! I needed to, but that was not the reason, I was very depressed, sad and lonely.

The end of my world hit hard, in January I came home to find all this out, quit my job and sat in an empty house alone in the middle of nowhere literally.

The house was spooky, half empty after the sale my wife conducted in secret whilst I worked. She played me well, became a new woman and ran off with some guy who would continue to pay for the lifestyle she craved. I loved her, still but divorced her, forced the issue and was shocked to hear that she thought I would never do it! I miss her, but knew she had to get out of my life, my decision not hers, we were toxic to each other.

Wow, I hit the floor hard, wished to die, cried buckets and for the first time in my life took all the time in the world to think and seek answers to the question. Why was I so sad and depressed? Why was I so insecure? What next? The phone was dead, I had so many sim cards people just gave up, which country code, when available etc, no one called, no one wrote, I was screwed?

Now 6 months later I leave for a new home, in a part of Europe where people live! A house of my own, my furniture, my car, my sanctuary. It's three weeks to move day and I can't stand sitting here any longer. For the past few months I have forced myself to get out! The house is haunted or cursed, not sure which. I travelled to Columbia, Cuba, Ibiza, UK and Turkey, UK. And now I think a short break to Palma sounds great from where I am sitting.

I lost my way many years ago, became subservient to my wife, a second class citizen, was made to feel inferior, uncultured, thick, unintelligent, lost respect for myself and like when I was young I let people walk all over me, use me and abuse me. I was angry, annoyed, panicked, every emotion in the same minute was the norm.

If you've read this far, your probably thinking what's the point of all of this? What did I learn about myself? How did I recover? What words of wisdom have I got for you to cling to?

I can say that I sought a different path. I promised myself to forget about work for a while and started to read self- help articles, I got social on line and one person told me of the book she was reading titled "Mindset Mastery". I bought it and went on holiday working through the new strangeness of manifestation, positive energy and divine guidance. I became religious (not) I wanted to believe, I needed a new path, and I can say it's working.

I read and wrote and synthesised my goals, changed my beliefs and carved my own path out of this hell hole that shelters me from rain. I can say that things started to happen. I met the most wonderful people, doors opened, green lights, I even got my bag from the baggage carousel number one on the belt! Synchronicity exists in my life.

My changing moment was standing in the hotel check-in in Cuba. I met the most significant person in my life ever, and she does not ask for anything from me. She changed my life in a week, mentored my new beliefs and listened to my horrible past experiences, advised and shared some very private issues and experiences with me. I felt that the Universe had answered me! Thank you so much.

I could write books about my thoughts and feelings but to be honest, all of us if faced with my kind of dilemma need help. Don't do this alone, speak to someone, seek alternatives, take time and learn to breathe slowly, it really works. Look upwards you'll feel better when you do.

I know that for myself I wished to die, I wished to cease to exist. Could neither go outside nor speak and in the end, I took time to accept that I have to be able to sit in the dark unafraid. I had to learn to talk to the spaces and fear not, as I would be ok, no monster was coming to eat me.

After this realization, I clung to the writings of the self-help gurus, met my mentor and began to plan for change. It was slower than expected, I usually don't ponder or consider too deeply, mostly due to peer pressure, debt and perceived responsibilities to my family and not to myself.

I'm not cured, I never will be. I have a sickness called acute depression, undiagnosed, hidden from the world and my doctor. Or do I ??????

My advice is don't be like me, don't take too much responsibility, consider yourself, love yourself ,forgive yourself, like yourself.

Luck is a big part of this also... or is it? You manifest your own future, I now believe. Choosing to be in a happy state or feeling is brought about by our own beliefs and expectations. If you believe it's going to be a bad day, it usually is.

It's also true to say that I shed a lot of my problems by moving, and leaving behind old friends who, in many cases, were not good for me, some actually capitalized on my kindness.

I believe so strongly now that I can make it! I even wish to change my name and build a new future without being followed or the subject of conversations about me, better to cut the past and look forward. I know when I move that I will have to integrate socially. Will do so by different name and build my new life around places and people I love to be with.

Lastly, I need a new job. I am working up some ideas, nothing solid yet, but the shoots are growing.

Most important, my sense of purpose must be served somehow. I still love the female form and seek that special person. I have formed new relationships but know that I will not allow anyone in my future to affect me so much as my former wife did. To be in love, in lust, be happy and seek adventure sure!

Thank you L for your love and kindness, without which I would no longer exist. Forever in your debt.

S.

Saturday, June 13, 2015

"No, I Won't Pick Up My Toys!"


As I sit down to write this blog, I hear the loud, whining moan of a siren coming from my son's fire truck a few feet away from me. Ah, yes, the perfect soundtrack for inspiration! I guess I am blessed, once again, with an opportunity to practice non-resistance of what is. Our children are really little gurus in disguise, even though it's hard to admit it at times.

We only react negatively towards our children (or anyone) when we fall into unconsciousness ourselves. When we realize that the unconscious behaviours of others is what triggers our own unconsciousness, then we can stop taking things so personally. "He did this to push my buttons, she did something unforgivable, unacceptable." Awareness allows us to see things in a more neutral perspective, as an observer who is not as personally invested in the challenging situation.

For example, if I ask Théo to pick up his toys and he starts to shout "no, I won't pick up my toys!", my ego might immediately feel threatened and think "how dare this little boy question my authority? I am the parent, I am in control and if my child doesn't do exactly as I say, I am failing as a mother." These unconscious thoughts might cause me to start feeling powerless and angry, and instead of keeping my cool and explaining calmly to Théo what the consequence of his actions would be (such as taking the toys away for a certain time if they are not picked up), I might fall further into unconsciousness myself. I could start yelling, or I might decide to withdraw from the situation completely, ignoring his defiant behaviour and therefore reinforcing a disobedient attitude next time.

For the record, Théo is still playing nicely at the moment, his temper tantrum was just a fictional example. He would NOT be happy with me spreading rumours about him on Blogger like that! ;)

Parenting is hard! I mean, our kids challenge us constantly, and we usually have a split second to react. It's obviously much easier to just get angry than to stop, breathe and think "the unconsciouness in my child is triggering my own unconsciousness. Can I stay calm and objective in this situation without feeling threatened, insulted, hurt or disappointed by my child? If my child was fully conscious, he / she probably wouldn't be acting this way. Can I help him / her navigate through these feelings without taking things personally as a parent?" Yeah, that just doesn't come naturally most of the time! Eckhart Tolle never had children, either. ;)

We can`t expect ourselves to always have this awareness, but we can certainly keep practising every day and pat ourselves on the back when we DO succeed. Do you have an example of a challenging situation with someone where you were able to stay fully present and aware? What happened?

Have a great weekend!

Lise
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Grab Life By The Balls

Take a deep breath
Now look around
If you were lost
You've just been found

Pop the bubble
Of your thoughts
Break the spell
Release the knots

See the colours
Hear the sounds
You are awake!
Now life abounds

Feel the tingle
In your hands
Your mind is still
Your heart expands

Allow yourself
To laugh and play
Sing and dance
Your fears away

Do not assume
Any tomorrows
Embrace today
Without your sorrows

Come back, my friend
Back to the Now
Let the children
Remind you how

You're free to go
Beyond your walls
It's time to grab
Life by the balls


Lise Villeneuve :)



Sunday, June 7, 2015

Wisdom From a Local Enlightened Squirrel...

A few days ago, I looked out our dining room window and was ecstatic to see little Skittles hanging out around a tree right in front of our house! For those of you who missed the story about our little orphaned squirrel, you can catch up here:
http://lisevilleneuve.blogspot.ca/2015/05/my-love-story-with-rodent.html

The kids and I happily followed Skittles to the park across the street and spent about 30 delightful minutes with him. How did we know it really was Skittles? Well, for one thing, he let Emma pet him! Also, a mom (or foster mom) easily recognizes her baby! :) I can't express enough how happy I am to know that he is thriving back in his natural environment. The fact that he comes over to visit is like icing on the cake!

This squirrel story has allowed the children and I to experience a pure, simple joy of Being that emanates from deep within us. We feel overwhelming Love and a strong connection towards this little creature who needed a helping hand. Even writing about it now, I am intoxicated by this feeling of warmth and oneness. I wish I could upload the feeling right here on this blog and you could spontaneously experience it with the click of a button! But maybe you can think back of a time when you felt something similar? Holding your baby for the first time? Spending some time with your pet? Watching a beautiful sunset? Being with someone who loves you unconditionally? Are you able to tap into that feeling? Doesn't it feel incredible?

I gotta say, Skittles' visit was perfect timing this week, because I've been going through some pretty heavy stuff lately. I've been "purging" old emotions, letting go of past beliefs and conditionings, and it's been a little exhausting! Skittles (who looks a bit like Yoda at times!) reminded me that I always have access to this beautiful inner-peace, if I can simply allow myself to dive into it. When times get stressful and challenging (as they inevitably will, thanks to the ego), we can always find something beautiful and uplifting to focus on, even if it's a memory in our past. The simple act of going back to that feeling changes our mood, raises our vibration and improves our outlook on life. Skittles says " Breathe in the light, exhale the old, stale energy and imagine it going back down to the core of the Earth. Use the force." Lol.

Perhaps Skittles is an old soul who came back in this life as a squirrel to help us poor humans evolve! Or not. But here's something else he made me remember. Whenever we feel bad, overwhelmed with negative emotions and powerless, it means there's a gap between where we currently are, and where we want to be. In this "gap" that sometimes feels like hell, we hold on to many unmet desires (they may be conscious or unconscious) and the frustration we feel comes from our inability to meet these needs and to get ourselves to that "place" our souls know we want to be. Makes sense?

It's empowering to realize this because instead of staying stuck and blinded by our frustration and despair, we can start to ask ourselves "what would I rather experience instead?", "where would I rather be?", "what would I prefer?" By taking our focus off what's dragging us down, we stop hemorrhaging all our energy into negative thoughts and we can start to move towards our desires. Feeling bad allows us to understand what we really want, but we have to be able to get up, figure out what that is, and go get it. A good place to start is to gravitate towards whatever brings us a feeling of relief. What can you do today that will give you that sense of relief? For me, it's going outside, getting some fresh air and sunshine. Thanks for reading, have a good week!

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach / Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com

Monday, June 1, 2015

Feeling Homesick

I must admit that lately I've been feeling a little lost. The more I commit myself to awakening, the less this physical world seems to make sense to me. I feel like our way of life here is completely backwards. From the moment we are born, we are constantly encouraged to move in the opposite direction of what brings us true peace, joy and happiness. The density of this ego-based planet is sometimes crushing. I guess that's why I decided to be here at this time, to help clean up the mess.

I know we all come from a place of Love and Unity, and sometimes I really miss Home, wherever that is. Does anyone else feel this longing? If you do, then you see the grand illusion of this physical reality as well. Thankfully, the number of people awakening these days is exponential, and together we will co-create a new world, a New Earth. We have to stay strong, united and have faith. If each one of us continues to work daily on our own awareness, our presence, our compassion for others, and if we learn to tame our minds and our negativity, this will transform the world little by little. It's already happening.

Half of me feels a little discouraged these days, yet the other half is cheering me on, trying to get more people on the consciousness team! Again, ego versus heart / spirit. I still regularly feel torn between the two polarities, especially when it comes to "fitting in" to society like everyone else. My ego has trouble accepting what my heart has been saying lately:

-"There is no need to push myself to do things that don't feel inspiring." My ego is trying to convince me that if I want to see results, it has to hurt a little, it has to be unpleasant, it has to be hard. But my heart knows that everything we create first comes from a clear intention, a thought, a feeling and THEN a physical manifestation. Taking action is one way to get things done, but not the only and easiest one. Yet, sometimes when I'm not "doing", I still feel guilty.

-"There is no need for elaborate conversations between human beings." My heart doesn't have much to say, except for "I hear you, I understand you, I love you." All the little stories of where I was, who I was, what I'm planning, what happened, what I know...etc are really just a variety of scripts written by my ego. They might be "interesting" to other egos, but increasingly, I just don't feel like opening my mouth. My ego is telling me how boring and awkward I am because I have nothing to say. However, my heart is all ears.

-"There is nothing wrong with being ordinary and living a simple, uneventful life." If I can learn to be perfectly content in each moment, no matter what circumstances I'm placed in, then I've reached my purpose on this Earth. To my heart, this is Ultimate success. Of course, my ego tells me that I should strive to "be someone", to "accomplish things", to have an exciting life. If those things happen along the journey, then great, but they are not the destination programmed in my internal GPS. Often times, we trick ourselves into believing that we will feel SO much better when...if....with...fill in the blanks. Really? I don't buy into that! The only place we can truly find lasting joy, love, peace and happiness is within, through total acceptance of the Now.

Well, I have to say I feel better already! How do you feel these days? Do you share some of my views? Do you have a completely different perspective? I would love to hear from you, so don't be shy!

Warmly,

Lise
Health Coach / Reiki Master
www.lisevilleneuve.com